So, this Tuesday I will turn 29. Over the past six months or so I have begun to think about aging in regard to myself for the first time. I can see the difference between Myself and a 19 year old in a way that I didn't even realize existed when I was in My late teens and early twenties. Don't get Me wrong, I'm not freaking out or thinking that I am old, just that I am not young. Or really, that I just don't have that exquisite blush or roundness that is exclusively youthful. I can actually understand now that massive rush toward the fountain of youth and the multi-billion dollar industry that caters to women's vanity. These days I rarely wear makeup except for session, family gatherings and perhaps for a night out. My mother wouldn't have left the house for ANYTHING without a full face of makeup on. C thinks makeup is just a mask and prefers Me without it. At first it was refreshing to have a boyfriend who was so into Me as a person and to not worry about My appearance all the time. However 5 years in, I wish he could appreciate the ways in which some makeup accentuates My beauty rather than viewing it exculsively as a detraction. On the random occaission that I decide to throw on some lipstick on My way out of the house for no reason at all, I end up feeling like it is an act against him, rather than an act for Me.
I have suddenly had a multitude of cocksucker calls. It has been a constant barrage of guys that want Me to take them to glory holes or pimp them out. Is it Me? Do I inspire these guys to want to suck cock?