Fetish Origins and the Ghosts of High School

Almost every sexual fetish seems to stem from a pivotal event in childhood.  I've heard countless stories from my clients over the years about the seductively dangled high heel or the sister's underpants or playing under the table surrounded by stocking clad feet. I've recreated those scenarios many times.  Recently however I heard from a high school classmate of my own.  A moment that I don't even recollect has been seared into his memory and provided wank material for nearly three decades.  It seems we were 16, sitting on a couch.  I slipped my boots and socks off, tucked a leg beneath me and caught him ogling my bare foot.  He says I locked eyes with him, looked down at my foot, back at him and gave a devilish grin.  He felt busted and embarrassed, but thoroughly titillated. And my immaculate, large feet have figured in his fantasies ever since.  When he reached out to me and said "I need to ask you a question" I was certain he'd seen an ad or stumbled across my site and wanted to check if it were actually me.  But he hadn't.  In a drunken haze he wanted to know if I remembered catching him staring at my bare feet 28 years ago.  I still don't recollect that incredibly important moment for him, but I know he never expected my reply: "No!!! I don't. But that's hysterical.  I've been a prodomme for 25 years.  I have size 12 feet.  Foot fetishists are my bread and butter!"

I’m not a financial Domme, but...#tipme #paymyrent!

I’m not a financial Domme, but I do have a $16 per day latte habit. Perhaps you should sponsor that. I’ve always spent my $$ on experiences. When I lived in the city I took taxis, then Ubers everywhere. Got massages and facials regularly. Even now, my grooming budget is obscene! I regularly have my eyebrows/pussy/legs waxed, speaking of "sponsorship" I don't think EWC does gift certificate (idiots!) but a prepaid wax pass or unlimited package would make a lovely tribute/gift/tip. #tipher #tipme #paymyrent (Jacq the Stripper is a god damn genius). I accept cashapp, venmo and giftrocket.  Amazon gift certificates are great, and when I'm flush, I LOOOOOVE them, but let's be realistic, my landlord, doesn't accept them. Dying my hair (come on now, did you really think these fantastic shades of red were natural?!?!), eyelash extensions, manicures, pedicures, chiropractic services--I am all about #selfcare these days--all cost $$$.  I drive a 2001 explorer. Sure I find nice cars sexy. Maybe one day I'll learn to drive stick and get an Aston Martin. Lol. In the meantime if it gets me from point a to point b without costing me too much $/annoyance with repairs I really don’t care. Though I must say (type?) those suicide doors on Teslas are HOT. Maybe I should go hybrid and do my part for the planet. Anyone own a car dealership? I’m sure we can work out some kind of barter. Lol. Essentially I have always prioritized experiences over things.  I don't own any property (hoping to change that in the next few years!) but I've seen a fair amount of the world. My daughter had a passport before she was a year old. As I dip my toes back into the pay for play and public lifestyle scenes, I really need potential slaves to understand that my daughter and husband will always and forever take priority over you. 


As a year round resident of the Hamptons, there are definitely many elements of small town living. I’ve warned my regular clients that they may encounter me in the wild and that any type of public play is strictly prohibited. This is basic common sense. Particularly if I’m with my daughter, approaching me with a “Hello Mistress!” or calling me Octavia (you never thought that was my given name did you?) is entirely inappropriate. I’m totally fine with a hello or any other friendly greeting—that’s up to you, as a sexworker for 25 years, I’d NEVER out a client in public. And since I have a $16 a day latte habit, you may always feel free to sponsor my morning coffee. It seems the coffee shop is where I most often run into clients. Twice in the last week. Hamptons Coffee Company gift certificates make a great gift/tribute, hint. Hint. 


I am now officially accepting new clients again.  I was so certain that new photos were an absolute necessity, after all, I'm now 43 and my last shoot was at least 8 years ago if not longer.  Upon going over the images, I realized that though these new pictures were shot June 2018, they easily could have been from 15 years ago.  I essentially look the same. See if you can tell which images were just taken and which are old enough to drink! Also note, you may want to mute your sound as the app required a sountrack. Enjoy:
Mistress Octavia Arena by Slidely Photo Gallery


Just a heads up Cleveland and Chicago February 2018

I am approximately 80% retired.  I rarely see new clients in NYC, but could never deny my oldest and most loyal slaves the opportunity to worship My size 12 feet or serve Me in their appropriate capacities.  That said, I'm going to be in Chicago next week for the first time since 2006 and since I had such a great time playing when I was there last, I figured I would make myself available for a few very limited and select appointments.  To be considered, send an email to and tell me if we met when I was last in Chicago, a bit about you, your interests, fantasies and experience.

Books! Books! Books!

I finally pulled my bookshelves and books out of storage and set up a corner of our living room as a little book nook/reading area. My husband is bewildered at the amount of joy this simple act has brought me. As a lifelong bookworm, I just missed my books! They've been in storage since our short lived move to SF 6 years ago! It was like greeting old friends as I pulled them from the boxes. Now I suppose it is possible that there's a box of books still sitting in our storage space that I missed, but my big surprise was the titles that just aren't there. The very first how-to books I ever read on BDSM (penthouse forum letters excepted) were S&M 101 by Jay Wiseman and Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller & Molly Devon and NEITHER of them seem to still be in my collection, thus they've been promptly added to my amazon wishlist.  I did find that I own more "sexy books" than I had realized.  A combination of erotica, BDSM how-to and more intellectual sexual theory take up several shelves.  I'm going to have to do a culling before our extended family is in the house for our daughter's birthday.  I'm thinking it will be fine to leave the sleeping beauty books, but perhaps The Family Jewels will need to find a more discreet spot in our home.


A Decade of Anticipation

Last month I had a session with someone who has been trying to see me for a full decade. My travel plans, blizzards and the universe in general seem to have colluded to keep him from getting under my feet and being humiliated by me in person. We've had dozens of Niteflirt chats since 2006, but actually playing together  just never coalesced until last month. I was excited to meet him and very very slightly anxious--I'm not the same woman I was a decade ago. Speaking of which, I really need to find a photographer and update my site--I just threw my old site up at a new URL: I've no desire to advertise falsely, I just don't have new pictures yet (I so remember being a snotty 24 year old house mistress being like, why are those dommes advertising with old photos?!?! It's like lying!) Anyway, our session was so much fun! There were moments where he was so scared of me, his eyes wide with terror, drawing in his breath and unconsciously holding it until I reminded him to breathe for me. His suffering was absolutely delicious! We did some basic CBT (thankfully he understood that Cock and Ball Torture is NOT an euphemism for a hand job! LOL), a bunch of verbal humiliation, some foot and leg worship and a touch of smothering. I also finished with a golden shower, like monsoon finale! Perhaps I overwhelmed him, I probably asked if he was OK half a dozen times before we parted ways. 


My site is gone, but...Instagram! Twitter!

As you may or may not have noticed, is no longer my website. It's some link farm that has absolutely nothing to do with me. You see, I never owned my domain. A friend registered it for me and then (very kindly, I might add) hosted it for free for approximately 15 years. The unfortunate part is that I never even had the chance to renew it when it expired this last time as it was out of redemption and owned by someone else by the time I realized my site was no longer live. So...that kinda sucks, but I'm a grownup now and will be taking care of registering a domain and hosting my site myself.  I suppose new photos were in order anyway. That will happen along with a new site at some point, but in the meantime, I've joined Instagram and Twitter. My handle on both is @MsOctaviaArena


I feel like I left you hanging with my pregnancy....

My daughter is now two and a half. This kid had stories before she even came out of the womb! She was conceived on our one year wedding anniversary during the Hurricane Sandy blackout.  I did not discover I was pregnant until we were 19 weeks in (no, I am not an idiot, I just have PCOS and a very irregular period). She then made her grand entrance into the world via emergency c-section 9 weeks early. Basically, to my knowledge, I was pregnant for 12 weeks. She is so smart, utterly adorable and amazes me nearly every single day.  She is also healthy, but her first year was pretty intense.  To put it succinctly, she was (is?) medically complex.

She was born with a birth defect that required three surgeries in her first year.  She was hospitalized four times and underwent full anesthesia four times before she was 7 months old. Her genetic anomaly is called Imperforate Anus and means that she was born with her tiny baby butthole sealed shut. Modern medicine and surgical techniques are truly miraculous because unless you caught sight of her colostomy scar, if I didn't tell you, you would never know.


Obligatory once a year check in post and oh yeah--I'm pregnant!

I have had this blog for a very long time.  My life has changed dramatically in the decade and six months since my first post.  I am married (to the chef I hauled pork fat back from Italy for) and currently pregnant with our first child.  I've been thinking of advertising for foot sessions--my feet have grown to a SIZE 13!!! It has been so long since I wrote like this I barely remember how. I'm trying to decide what topic to cover--the controversial nature of doing sessions while visibly pregnant? the amazing story of how/when I found out I was pregnant? According to the traffic logs, it looks like I still have readers, the question is what are you here looking for? And do I even provide that service these days...


Ancient History

I suppose I've made many "I'm baaaaack" posts, so I won't claim that I'll be blogging regularly again this time. After all the last time I actually was doing that it was 2005. However, I am around and about, taking niteflirt calls and the occasional session. But I came across the video linked below the other day. I can't even remember what year it is from, but it holds the distinction of being the only BDSM video I have ever made. It features Mistress Sade whom I just adore (in general and as a play partner) and I engaging in a bit of enthusiastic trampling. Enjoy!


Things Change...

I had a great time in San Francisco, but I'm a true New Yorker. I'm in South East Asia (yes, AGAIN!) through late April, after which I will be accepting appointments in NY again.