Four Months Later...

So...um...I kinda lied in my last post. Not entirely, as I hadn't made a decision yet, but I no longer live in Manhattan. I now live full-time in a tiny town in the Hamptons. For reasons that I couldn't completely explain even if I wanted to, I canceled my dream trip to Asia in order to manage a bar in a small, primarily seasonal, town.

It seemed to make sense at the time. This new job was just something I wanted to do. I planned the Asia trip craving new stimulus and a change of scenery and I got those things, just not at all in the package I expected.

In some ways, every day feels like a role play scenario where I'm cast as the tough bar manager chick. But then this whole business seems entirely natural to me.

It is weird to be "in the closet." In NYC everyone who knows me, knows who I am and what I do in terms of being a Domme, however here, NO ONE knows who I really am, but since it is a small town EVERYONE knows who I hung out with last night, where I work and what my name is.

I finally found a play partner and though he is a novice, his interest is sincere and he suffers beautifully for me.


The Flood After the Drought

So...I'm still out in the Hamptons. I kinda like it here. My trip to Asia is indefinately postponed. Don't be sad, I'm not. I needed a change of scenery and new stimulus and I have absolutely found all of the above (AND I'm still available for sessions twice a month!).

The last time I was in the city, I had a spectacular scene with a regular client. It wasn't that we did anything that I hadn't done before, but perhaps it was the several weeks that had passed since my last playtime. After some very intense foot worship and humiliation, we moved onto anal play. My newest strap-on is HUGE! It hangs three quarters of the way down my thigh.

I looked out the window and said...

"WOW! Main Street looks like a river!" And quickly realized that if there was over two feet of water in the street, HOW MUCH WATER WAS INSIDE THE BUILDING?? I guess this would be a good time to break the news to you, my loyal readers, I'm no longer working as a nanny or personal assistant. I am now (quite suddenly and surprisingly) a bar & restaurant manager! At least for the summer, as my plans for the fall are NOT subject to change. So, back to THE FLOOD.


Small Town Living

As a NYC native, I've never understood the appeal of "small town life." And though travel is my passion, I've always been happy to come home and felt that no place else could possibly qualify as "home." Well, that's starting to change! I'm not ready to leave NYC for good, but I'll be out on the East end through the summer.

I had the most amazing experience! Of the gadzillion things I'm responsible for, last week, one of them was filling out the paperwork to apply for permission to place tables outside of a cafe. When I had some questions about the form and called the "for assistance" number I ended up in the office of the Mayor with his secretary helping me fill out the form. You think Bloomberg's secretary can help you get a permit application filled out? AND I also had an experience where I witnessed a fight outside of a bar and called 911. In my life I've probably called 911 about a dozen times before, every time in NYC. Calling in a small town is a whole other experience. I told her where I was and what I'd seen. Her response? "No problem honey, you just hang out over there and I'll send one of the boys right over." Um, hello? I've practically had to beg for a police response on Avenue A in the middle of the night. And yes, the constable (not kidding) was there is less than five.


Not in the City

For some reason I am unable to get into the code of my site right now, so I'm going to use the blog to announce:

So...I'm OK! The calls I received from clients and friends who I scared with my last post were actually quite sweet.

I went skydiving a few weeks ago to celebrate Sade's birthday and it was one of the most beautiful, awe-inspiring and exhilarating things I've ever done. At some point in the future I'll complain about the fact that the harnesses are not designed for people of my size and shape, as I was the only person in our party of 9 to walk away with black and blues all over my thighs. But honestly I'm still THRILLED with the experience and deeply grateful to their staff member I jumped with (it was a tandem). He was really astonishingly nice and reassuringly confident and vocal about the entire process. Not that I needed much reassuring because I was SO MUCH more excited about the whole experience than scared. There was only one moment when I felt something akin to fear: just before we jumped out of a perfectly good airplane. But it was fleeting, as next thing I knew we were in free-fall and all of my faculties needed to be focused on remembering how to breathe. Then he let loose the parachute, and the straps snapped tight against my inner thighs and I was in pain, but so into what I was viewing, it really didn't matter. (what you thought I could dish it out but not handle a bit myself?)

Next order of business is that the boyfriend and I are no longer together. It boiled down to a difference in fundamental values, beliefs and worldview. However, I think we may actually remain friends. He really was the best bf I've ever had, we're just not right for eachother. This may be my most adult and mature breakup ever.


Because my boyfriend, best friend, boss & slave insisted...

Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment. As a relatively self-sufficient adult woman, I usually go to the doctor by myself. However, this was a follow-up appointment for a biopsy because prior standard testing had come back abnormal. I was still prepared and planning on going alone, however my boyfriend, best friend, day job boss and slave ALL were really insistent that someone else come along. How often do you think that four people who hold such disparate positions in my life would all agree on the same position?


Yeah Yeah Yeah, I'm still here, just been kinda quiet lately

I'll admit that I knew it had been some time since I'd written a blog entry, but half year?!?!?!?! No...I didn't realize it had been that long.

The BIG News:

A-I am a NON-SMOKER! Yep, you read that correctly. I've renounced my formerly beloved camel lights. I've been smoke free since April 26th, since that's nearly two months ago, I'm confident it is going to stick. The only place I really even miss it at all is in session, bizarrely enough. Many of my clients (whether it was requested or not) could tell you how adept I was at cigarette torture. Much like the violet wand, I loved the sheer versatility of it, sensual one moment and searingly painful the next. But the truth is, I only smoked so much in session because I was addicted to nicotine. Or perhaps I just thought I was. Isn't the question you're dying to ask "How'd you quit?"

Here is where I insert the "I swear I'm not a hippie" clause. Because I assure you that if someone had just told me about EFT, I probably would have laughed. I remind you that beside the fact that I started smoking at age 11 and certainly smoked at least a pack a day for more than the last decade, I didn't really believe that I could or would quit until I was ready to have babies. Well, I'm not quite THERE yet, but I am a non-smoker.

So the bottom line is that Annie Siegel is a total miracle worker. Her specialties are stress and anxiety reduction, but as I can attest, she does amazing smoking cessation work.

B-Tickets have been purchased, itineraries are being planned...I have taken October & November of 2007 "off" from my life and will be wandering around SOUTH EAST ASIA!!!! So, clearly, I will not be available for session (or anything else really except temple visiting, elephant sanctuary visiting, custom clothing fittings, ridiculous spa experiences, etc) October 1st through December 3rd.

C-Time will clearly tell, but I think I'm ready to open a little window back into my life. Honestly, part of the reason my posts grew so sparse was that I just wasn't feeling particularly exhibitionistic. I began censoring myself based on who I thought my readers were and what they did or didn't want to hear. I am now firmly over that.


The Big News

I am formally a Non-Smoker! It's absolutely for real this time.