Wednesday
This is just to say...
yes, I'm still alive. Preparations for The Ball have taken over my life. And though the doors open in less than 48 hours, I have no idea what I'll be wearing. Of course my phone continues to ring off the hook with session inquiries, precisely when I am not accepting appointments until Friday. I'm also available this weekend, however Monday morning I am off to Miami! I'll be there and available for sessions in Ft. Lauderdale through Friday June 9th. I've had a bizarre increase in requests for travel to Boston. Quite possibly my least favorite city ever. Not going to happen. Sorry slaves in Beantown, make your way to NYC.
Friday
The Post-Session Email
I love hearing how my clients feel about our sessions. This is a note I received the other day:
Mistress,
Please do not misinterpret my silence of the last several days. It does not signify indifference to You or to our last session. I have had a lot to do, at home and at work. I have tried to be responsible, and have often been very tired when I go to bed. But I have been sorely tempted to chuck the responsible behavior and write long emails to You. Just so You know.
I totally loved that session, even though roleplays appeal to us so much that we both want to return to them. I’m not used to playing myself but, as I mentioned, not having to think in role was a bit easier mentally, and allowed me to concentrate on the sensations and the mind fuck. And there were plenty of those.
The ice and hot wax didn’t hurt, but they did feel weird and spooky, especially in sequence. You seemed surprised that I didn’t find them painful. Do other guys react more strongly?
No one has tickled me for many years, so I had forgotten how I react to it. You looked as if You had a lot of fun, so I guess trying to convince You not to tickle me in future would be a waste of time?
You had threatened so much ball-kicking over the previous weeks that I was certain You would do it. Object lesson in not second-guessing Mistress Octavia. Instead: CBT and NT with Your nails, the Wartenburg wheel, and Your new toy, the Cobra Stinger. Fear-inducing, alternately and unpredictably pleasant and painful sensations. I still shudder thinking about it.
In contrast, there is nothing pleasant about being spanked and caned. Just sharp pain, mitigated only by its brevity. You are gauging the duration and intensity well. I was at the edge of needing to say “Red”, but I managed to hold on, for the sake of Your fun and my self-respect.
Of course, the sensation play and corporal punishment were accompanied by a big helping of bondage and humiliation. Allowing You to tie me up brings home more than anything else that I am helpless, completely in Your power, dependent on Your skill, experience, and sanity to emerge undamaged at the other end. It is more than just a transfer of power - it’s a leap of faith, a statement of trust.
When I mentioned later that evening that Your legs were outrageous, I didn’t mean just how they look. My God, woman, You pinned me down with one leg, and I couldn’t do a thing about it! Talk about feeling humiliated and totally inferior! You are a Goddess and an Amazon, and I am nowhere in Your league, but I have to talk this over with my trainer at the gym. I can’t continue to let You toy with me like this.
Worshipping Your ass and feet is both a privilege and a sensual pleasure for me. It would also be an intolerable humiliation, except that, for some strange reason, I enjoy being humiliated by You. It’s just part of the natural order of things. BTW, Your feet are so long that, when I lick slowly, it seems to take an eternity to get from one end to another. Count me among those who admire Your feet for both their beauty and their size.
The trampling and breast smothering were awesome. They are among the most potent weapons in Your arsenal, because they start out feeling gentle and soft, but can suddenly turn dangerous. I very much appreciate the care with which You have used those weapons. It seemed this time as if You were attempting to cut off my breath for a few seconds. It was genuinely frightening! The ideal pressure, from my POV, is tight enough that I can’t escape without strength fueled by panic and adrenaline. I know that You could overwhelm that, too, but I hope You will resist the temptation; my daughter is counting on a few more years of tuition payments. And corpses are so inconvenient.
Breast smothering is not only a form of humiliation, but tease and denial as well. Once or twice You also put your face close to mine and stared straight into my eyes. In the abstract I know that I should keep my hands (and lips) to myself, but temptation seems to follow the inverse square rule. I feel like I’m in a classic approach-avoidance conflict. Lab rats placed in such conflict tend to become paralyzed by confusion or totally neurotic.
Not that that was the only way You were screwing with my mind. You actually had me convinced that I had made You angry and You were punishing me. You were very insightful in making me list the possible reasons and letting me stew in the possibilities by not confirming. This succeeded because I am so anxious to please You, so concerned about messing up our relationship, somewhat na¿ve (just as you said) … and because You are so convincing. Well, You can laugh at me now, Mistress, but I guarantee You that I won’t fall for this ploy again for at least 3 months.
Last year that session would have been wonderful. After a drought of 7 months, I felt exhilarated and restored.
You are exceptionally talented, Mistress, in mind, body, and spirit. I am grateful for my good fortune in finding You. I hope that I continue to be fun for You to play with, and hope that we have many years ahead of us, as domme/sub and as friends.
Saturday
I'm the Best Cyber-Stalker You Know!
My birthday was phenomenal. I was surrounded by some of the people I love most in the world. It was an impromptu gathering of a dozen people for dinner expanding to about two dozen for drinks afterward. It also seems that my invitation to explore my wishlist was taken seriously, as amazon boxes continue to arrive!
I've been told by several friends that I'm the best cyber-stalker they know. Is it a crime to know how to use google? Researching topics (or people) I find interesting is just a part of my nature. When my parents' marriage ended, I went to the library and sat down with a few books on divorce. Research equals knowledge, that's all. So is it somehow creepy that I found the myspace profiles of my two most recent "crushes" (ie: guys I do not know at all but find kinda cute and interesting)? I don't think so. Maybe the fact that I messaged them could be construed as such.
What I find bizarre is that they both cook for a living. The first is Sam Mason, the pastry chef at wd-50. Before I even knew that he was adorable, I was falling in love with his palate-exploding deserts. I still eat there on a semi-regular basis. I've never gone in just to see him, THAT would be psychotic. I have however, just gone in for desert. Here is his myspace profile.
The other is a touch more embarrassing. Remember how I finally got cable a few months ago? Well...I seem to have become a fan of Top Chef, in particular, of Harold Dieterle.
Random thing...I'm out nannying in the Hamptons this weekend. Am I a total pervert or just a multitasking thinker? While I was playing with the kids on the swingset this afternoon, I was admiring my pedicure and thinking what a great photoshoot I could do there.
I've been told by several friends that I'm the best cyber-stalker they know. Is it a crime to know how to use google? Researching topics (or people) I find interesting is just a part of my nature. When my parents' marriage ended, I went to the library and sat down with a few books on divorce. Research equals knowledge, that's all. So is it somehow creepy that I found the myspace profiles of my two most recent "crushes" (ie: guys I do not know at all but find kinda cute and interesting)? I don't think so. Maybe the fact that I messaged them could be construed as such.
What I find bizarre is that they both cook for a living. The first is Sam Mason, the pastry chef at wd-50. Before I even knew that he was adorable, I was falling in love with his palate-exploding deserts. I still eat there on a semi-regular basis. I've never gone in just to see him, THAT would be psychotic. I have however, just gone in for desert. Here is his myspace profile.
The other is a touch more embarrassing. Remember how I finally got cable a few months ago? Well...I seem to have become a fan of Top Chef, in particular, of Harold Dieterle.
Random thing...I'm out nannying in the Hamptons this weekend. Am I a total pervert or just a multitasking thinker? While I was playing with the kids on the swingset this afternoon, I was admiring my pedicure and thinking what a great photoshoot I could do there.
Friday
Inspiration--Many Forms
Honestly there have been a bunch of topics floating around my brain (bleeding, if you will...hehehehe) but I haven't gotten around to actually writing about them.
If this were a school paper I'd create an outline and flesh it out appropriately...
Ok let's see if I can actually maintain this steam and say what I've got to say about ALL of the above topics....
Awhile back I did an impromptu Violet Wand demo over at Rapture. As I'm sure I've mentioned a gadzillion times, the Wand is one of my favorite toys. Sheer versatility...the ability to move from sensual to severe (isn't that just THE MOST overused phrase in domme advertising???) but it's true; I can deliver a delicious gentle spark directly from my nipples (through my corset, you filthy minded thing!) to a sub's back or make him scream and writhe. I included a bit about fireplay at the demo. After putting my training into use, the other day one of them passed a tip back to me that I can not wait to use. Immediately upon hearing this trick of the trade that had never even occurred to me, I was absolutely inspired! I won't go into detail about it here a-I don't want to be responsible for someone untrained trying it and b-if you are so desperate to find out, come session with me! I also really love the synergy of having taught someone something and then re-learning it myself, new and improved!
Shibari 101 is what I'm jokingly calling the hour or so I spent with a close friend the other night. On a weekly basis I turn down at least two or three session requests; if a client's primary interest is rope bondage, I'll tell him straight out that I'm just not the right domme. For many years, I've maintained that rope bondage just isn't my scene. The truth is that I never really learned it properly, had a poor experience in session once and have basically avoided it since. How ridiculous! I'm a pro-domme missing a basic BDSM skill set. After a (thankfully brief) lecture on the merits of hemp rope and how to finish it (which I am certain I will never do) he taught me a few basic knots and ties and suddenly I was full of confidence! It was so simple! So...I'm certainly not an expert (yet!) but my enthusiasm for rope bondage has been rekindled (rather lit for the first time really). Don't be surprised if I'm now finding a way to work ropes into every session I do just for the practice.
We now interrupt this kinky inspiration tirade with a bit about my vanilla day job. Read the first line under the title of the blog again, did you forget that I'm a nanny? I spent last weekend out in the Hamptons with the that family I work for. It was not intentional, but I can not deny that I'm endlessly amused that on Easter Sunday I served the children Matzoh Ball soup for lunch. They'd never had it before and they really liked it. It was good (thank you fresh direct), but couldn't compare to my Mom's. I redeemed my blasphemous act by boiling and dying THREE DOZEN eggs with them later in the afternoon. That was a comedy sketch in itself, as neither their Mom or I cook. The middle child was recently asked in school how long it takes his mother to make dinner, he answered as long as it takes to pick up the phone. I probably had never boiled an egg in my life before this Easter Egg Extravaganza. I filled a large stew? soup? pot with water, set it to boil and then began gently placing all 36 eggs into the boiling water. It turns out that is not the right way to do it. Only 27 eggs made it to the hunt.
I'm taking niteflirt calls regularly again. It sorta blows my mind that I can earn nearly the same amount, laying in bed smoking cigarettes, discussing what I've done in session, as I can actually going into the dungeon and doing a session.
In less than two weeks, May 4th, to be exact, I will turn 31. I believe some shopping is in order. My wishlists are available at Amazon and Fetish Factory. Why are you still reading this? Get shopping!
I will go on about infantilism some other time.
The 13th Black and Blue Ball is June 1st at Avalon. No, I have no idea yet what I'll be wearing. I always approach the Ball with a touch of apprehension. I do so much work for it that as it gets closer, my days become a blur. I've only twice attended as just a guest and truthfully I had a great time those years, but typically I spend the evening running around behind the scenes. I will be there and damn it, I'm going to make some time to enjoy myself this year! Tickets only go up in price as the date nears, so
Wow, I can't believe I've kept my attention focused enough to nearly get through that list! I was given a new toy today. The Cobra Stinger is damn cute, with a mild bite. I adore it and have been toying with it all day.
Ok so I missed infantilism and kinky boots. I'll get to them soon, I promise.
If this were a school paper I'd create an outline and flesh it out appropriately...
- Fire Play
- Shibari 101
- Multi-Culti Easter
- Niteflirt Marathon Calls
- Kinky Boots
- Birthday
- Infantilism
- The Ball
- New Toy!
Ok let's see if I can actually maintain this steam and say what I've got to say about ALL of the above topics....
Awhile back I did an impromptu Violet Wand demo over at Rapture. As I'm sure I've mentioned a gadzillion times, the Wand is one of my favorite toys. Sheer versatility...the ability to move from sensual to severe (isn't that just THE MOST overused phrase in domme advertising???) but it's true; I can deliver a delicious gentle spark directly from my nipples (through my corset, you filthy minded thing!) to a sub's back or make him scream and writhe. I included a bit about fireplay at the demo. After putting my training into use, the other day one of them passed a tip back to me that I can not wait to use. Immediately upon hearing this trick of the trade that had never even occurred to me, I was absolutely inspired! I won't go into detail about it here a-I don't want to be responsible for someone untrained trying it and b-if you are so desperate to find out, come session with me! I also really love the synergy of having taught someone something and then re-learning it myself, new and improved!
Shibari 101 is what I'm jokingly calling the hour or so I spent with a close friend the other night. On a weekly basis I turn down at least two or three session requests; if a client's primary interest is rope bondage, I'll tell him straight out that I'm just not the right domme. For many years, I've maintained that rope bondage just isn't my scene. The truth is that I never really learned it properly, had a poor experience in session once and have basically avoided it since. How ridiculous! I'm a pro-domme missing a basic BDSM skill set. After a (thankfully brief) lecture on the merits of hemp rope and how to finish it (which I am certain I will never do) he taught me a few basic knots and ties and suddenly I was full of confidence! It was so simple! So...I'm certainly not an expert (yet!) but my enthusiasm for rope bondage has been rekindled (rather lit for the first time really). Don't be surprised if I'm now finding a way to work ropes into every session I do just for the practice.
We now interrupt this kinky inspiration tirade with a bit about my vanilla day job. Read the first line under the title of the blog again, did you forget that I'm a nanny? I spent last weekend out in the Hamptons with the that family I work for. It was not intentional, but I can not deny that I'm endlessly amused that on Easter Sunday I served the children Matzoh Ball soup for lunch. They'd never had it before and they really liked it. It was good (thank you fresh direct), but couldn't compare to my Mom's. I redeemed my blasphemous act by boiling and dying THREE DOZEN eggs with them later in the afternoon. That was a comedy sketch in itself, as neither their Mom or I cook. The middle child was recently asked in school how long it takes his mother to make dinner, he answered as long as it takes to pick up the phone. I probably had never boiled an egg in my life before this Easter Egg Extravaganza. I filled a large stew? soup? pot with water, set it to boil and then began gently placing all 36 eggs into the boiling water. It turns out that is not the right way to do it. Only 27 eggs made it to the hunt.
I'm taking niteflirt calls regularly again. It sorta blows my mind that I can earn nearly the same amount, laying in bed smoking cigarettes, discussing what I've done in session, as I can actually going into the dungeon and doing a session.
In less than two weeks, May 4th, to be exact, I will turn 31. I believe some shopping is in order. My wishlists are available at Amazon and Fetish Factory. Why are you still reading this? Get shopping!
I will go on about infantilism some other time.
The 13th Black and Blue Ball is June 1st at Avalon. No, I have no idea yet what I'll be wearing. I always approach the Ball with a touch of apprehension. I do so much work for it that as it gets closer, my days become a blur. I've only twice attended as just a guest and truthfully I had a great time those years, but typically I spend the evening running around behind the scenes. I will be there and damn it, I'm going to make some time to enjoy myself this year! Tickets only go up in price as the date nears, so
Wow, I can't believe I've kept my attention focused enough to nearly get through that list! I was given a new toy today. The Cobra Stinger is damn cute, with a mild bite. I adore it and have been toying with it all day.
Ok so I missed infantilism and kinky boots. I'll get to them soon, I promise.
Tuesday
The Rundown or Basic Things to Know...
about me right now. The Caribbean was amazing as per usual. Yes I'm still tan. Unfortunately I do have tan lines as I only spent one day on the nude beach at Orient Point. I won and actually left a casino with 1500 bucks and would have actually made it home with my winnings if our flight hadn't been cancelled, forcing us to spend the night in St. Maarten. I graciously returned 600 dollars to the casino coffers.
Last weekend I ended things with the sweetest guy I've ever met. He was truly a great guy and will make someone deeply happy, unfortunately I am not that woman.
In a few hours something totally amazing will happen...
On Wednesday, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06. Didn't you ever make a wish when the numbers lined up? Like at 3:45pm?
Last weekend I ended things with the sweetest guy I've ever met. He was truly a great guy and will make someone deeply happy, unfortunately I am not that woman.
In a few hours something totally amazing will happen...
On Wednesday, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06. Didn't you ever make a wish when the numbers lined up? Like at 3:45pm?
Monday
You want me? Skype me!
Yeah, yeah, I know I've been a lazy blogger again. I actually have several unfinished posts, that I will probably get done this week since...I'm in Anguilla! I'm not normally a product hyper, but skype is brilliant. And if you have any desire to speak with me this week, skype is the only way it is gonna happen. (email me for my user name) With everyone having cellphones these days, long distance calling is no longer an issue, unless you are calling internationally. Basically skype is like AIM or any insant message program, however it uses voice. If you are on a pc, you need a microphone in and you can either use your speakers or earphones for audio out. But of course my lovely ibook requires no additional equipment. Its internal mic & speakers work perfectly!
Friday
Damn I Love Foot Fetishists!
I'd have to read through my archives to be sure, but I'm confident that every six months or so I post an "ode to the foot fetishist." Before I became a pro-domme I had only had my toes sucked once. I was in college, on a road trip and my bare feet hanging over the passenger seat proved too much temptation for one of my companions to resist. I was confused by how good it felt because I had not yet accepted feet as a sexual region. I still thought they were dirty, gross and ugly. I adore foot fetishists for opening that door for me. Now, I absolutely love having my toes sucked, my soles licked and the ball and heel gently nibbled on. I can now accept the compliments on the size of my feet, the curve of my arches, the spacing between my toes and the wrinkles of my soles.
There are so many variables when it comes to a foot fetish session. Will the attention come from a place of worship and devotion or does it need to be forced as a form of humiliation? Must my feet be freshly pedicured, straight from the salon or have they been marinating in sweat all day? Last night my client reverently removed my snow boots, plastic bags and two pair of socks to reveal my damp and stinkily fragrant feet. After an hour of his tongue washing my feet, ankles and calves, my panties were soaking wet.
There are so many variables when it comes to a foot fetish session. Will the attention come from a place of worship and devotion or does it need to be forced as a form of humiliation? Must my feet be freshly pedicured, straight from the salon or have they been marinating in sweat all day? Last night my client reverently removed my snow boots, plastic bags and two pair of socks to reveal my damp and stinkily fragrant feet. After an hour of his tongue washing my feet, ankles and calves, my panties were soaking wet.
Thursday
Kinky Korners...
Gloria Brame, author of Different Lovingposes an interesting q on her blog. In response to the town currently being built with plans as follows
She proposes:
I've just posed her q on maxfisch. But I realize I never answered the q myself.
Would I live in Kinky Korners? No, probably not. There's always the OWK but this is probably part of why I'm not a huge fan of BDSM clubs or parties. When I play, it is an intimate thing. I don't appreciate other people's private lives being thrown into mine...why would I drag anyone else into my playtime? Sure I've played publicly. And I appreciate the support I've found in the BDSM community. However, exhibitionist as I may seem, I can actually be incredibly private.
"the town’s stores won’t be allowed to sell pornographic magazines, pharmacies won’t sell condoms or birth control pills, and there will be no X-rated channels on cable television.
She proposes:
"Anyway...instead of morbid visions of apocalyptic America, dividing into warring city/states ruled by despots and religious fanatics, one could dwell on the happier fantasy of a quaint little future-town called Kinky Corners....yeah...way better. Way happier. Way less realistic but what the hell....
No one under 18 allowed! Compulsory spankings! The return of public stocks - only these will be equipped with vibrators! Dungeons on every block, where you can stop in for a "quickie" before heading home! All-Roman-Polanski art-houses, all the time! Appearing in public in bermuda shorts and white socks punishable by fine!
...
So...would you live in a BDSM town? What would your SM utopia look like?"
I've just posed her q on maxfisch. But I realize I never answered the q myself.
Would I live in Kinky Korners? No, probably not. There's always the OWK but this is probably part of why I'm not a huge fan of BDSM clubs or parties. When I play, it is an intimate thing. I don't appreciate other people's private lives being thrown into mine...why would I drag anyone else into my playtime? Sure I've played publicly. And I appreciate the support I've found in the BDSM community. However, exhibitionist as I may seem, I can actually be incredibly private.
Sunday
When Supposed Grown-Ups Go Sledding
Wanna know what I did this weekend? Snow tubing! Ridiculously silly and fun. It was more about the roadtrip as we were on the road for nearly three hours each way and on the "slope" for less than two, but damn we had a great time.
Why do my sessions always run so thematically? A few weeks ago it was all about the corporal beat down, three clients in a row who could actually receive marks! And now it seems the foot fetishists are fiending for me. But where, oh where, are the electrics guys? I really want to explore the potential of my (no longer so new) TENS unit!
Why do my sessions always run so thematically? A few weeks ago it was all about the corporal beat down, three clients in a row who could actually receive marks! And now it seems the foot fetishists are fiending for me. But where, oh where, are the electrics guys? I really want to explore the potential of my (no longer so new) TENS unit!
Monday
It has been almost three weeks since my last post. I've played a few times and while my sessions were fun, I just don't really have anything to say about them. Actually I haven't had much to say about anything. I've been in this very non-contemplative space for the last several weeks. Until this this weekend. All I did was talk. Hours upon hours of random meandering conversations, primarily with boyfriend, who I referred to as "the warm vanilla body waiting in my bed" as I departed from byte last night.
Tuesday
I've said it before and I'll say it again, I adore the OED
OK, I've gone on before about how much I idolize the OED. Imagine how thrilling I found this entry on Maud's blog...I spent half an hour entering random words. When I was younger it was the derivation, the roots that fascinated me. Now it all about usage. When and where a word first appeared in print, the quotations used to illustrate its meaning. Words just continually captivate me. I've had some very ADD moments where I'll stumble across a word and everything stops while it bounces around my brain.
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