Moronic bit of behavior with severe consequences, followed by PANTIES, PANTIES, PANTIES!

I had a great Thanksgiving weekend. Spent it out in the Hamptons with the family I work for. Saturday morning I took the kids on a two hour bike ride adventure. We found this cool futuristic junglegym and climbed all over it together. The middle child was a bit sugared up so in the interest of burning off some of his excess energy, I had him running the length of a huge field while I kept time by screaming the seconds as they passed. He made great time and I told him that maybe when he was older he would run track. "What's running track?" asks the adorable near seven-year-old. I explain that it is a sport in high school, mostly racing but there are other parts as well and that when I was I high school I ran track. Over the hill I spy the goalposts of a football field, "Hey, let's go check that out, most football fields have tracks around them, I can show you what I'm talking about." Not only is the field encircled by a perfect blacktop, sixlane track, there are hurdles set up! Did it occur to me that I haven't jumped hurdles is 15 years? No. Did it occur to me that I'd never jumped hurdles in cowboy boots? No. I actually cleared both of the hurdles I attempted. Nice. However, I landed poorly on the second and seem to have done something that my left knee finds unacceptable. I'm limping. It can bear weight, isn't swollen, but isn't willing to fully extend either. I'm resting and giving it a few days. Which leads me to hours of web surfing. And obsessive research on unimportant topics.

A few weeks ago, when Sade and I watched Audition, we discussed the whole Japanese panty vending vachines (ie: bura-sera) thing. She put forth how awesome it would be if we could set one up at Purple Passion or at Rapture (could I be a guest panty seller?). So today with nothing but time on my hands I did some investigating. What do panty vending machines look like? Exhibit A:


It's just a converted cigarette machine! We can so do this!!!! My research also led me to this clip. Which is probably a part of why my craigslist panty selling exploits were so successful. I hand-delivered them. I know I posted one note a received, but this is what a most eloquent gentlemen sent after his purchase:

What can I say? Those panties were off the scale of deliciousness ( ... A, AA, AAA, supreme, extra fine) and into a realm where the olfactory becomes tactile. The humidity was unbearable. At home I stripped, showered, lay naked on my bed in the airconditioning, and proceeded to explore.

There was a subtle gradation of tone moving down from the front and intensifying in the very wet region of the cotton gusset, then a quite sudden and pronounced transition to the area moist with sweat from around your asshole, and where I discovered, to my delight, a single dark pubic hair trapped in the lace. Every part was glorious in its own way.

I then pulled the panties right over my face ("Abu Ghraib" style) with the central gusset area over my nostrils, closed my eyes, breathed deeply and rhythmically and quickly brought myself to two intense orgasms in ten minutes.