For those of you bored to tears with the kid stuff, here's a link that jimmybob sent to Me today.
I worked the door for Leda's Rubbercat event over at Opaline again tonight. It was freezy-cold outside but people still made it out. I, of course, wore the full-length mink and was toasty warm.
Responsibility has been claimed for the lovely mules I received as an anonymous gift. It was jimmybob. He is quite sweet, as well as a fun and creative play partner. I look forward to playing with him for a long time. At My request, he sent Me a few one paragraph sketches of roleplay scenarios that he would like to explore with Me. Some of them are terrific! Details for you, once I've decided which one I am making a reality for him.
I'm kinda proud, it is only My second animated gif. I've also been doing some promotion for Ekko's show "Fleeting Moments" which opens this friday.
I was pleasantly surprised by an email from someone who has not yet called Me via keen or had an actual session with Me. He purchased the book from the reading mentioned a few entries below as well as two others from My Amazon wishlist. Potential slaves take note: this is an EXCELLENT way to introduce yourself! In that evil thing known as the "Holiday Spirit" I have updated both My Amazon wishlist as well as My Fetish Factory wishlist. Ummmm, hello? Get shopping! Yes, that was an order, bitch! Hanukkah begins in only EIGHT DAYS! I brought My (now out of print and rather valuable) DVD of Audition (a grovel slave Amazon wishlist gift from last holiday season) over to a friend's place to watch tonight. Damn I love that movie! It was really novel to watch it with two other Dommes. The one who had not seen it previously made the best comment. "That scene (those of you who have seen it know which one she is referring to) was great, I just wish it was longer!" And similar to my cilice fantasies after reading The DaVinci Code, I now really want [warning: this link has spoilers, please don't read before you've seen it!] an Audition themed session. You might notice that I added a bunch of Miike flicks to My wishlist, I've seen most of them, but I need to own them.
You probably didn't figure on hearin' from me agin, seein' as how I
left the Arena fast as a jack rabbit with his tail on fire. But a few
days ago I was wanderin' around the WWW and happened upon your blog, and
was dismayed to see that you done blabbed and bragged clear 'cross
cyberspace how you outsmarted and humiliated me. That was right ornery of
you, when all I wanted was to assuage mah loneliness with some female
companionship, as it were, while I was away from home.
You may be wonderin' what I did about votin' at the Convention. Well,
I remembered you had that vidya tape, and knew you was low-down enough
to use it to ruin mah standin' in society if I voted for George Bush.
So I told the chairman of the Texas delegation that I warn't feelin'
too good - which warn't no lie, cuz mah whole body was still sore after
what you done to me - and he sent in an alternate, and he voted for
President Bush in mah place! So ol' W got his unanimous nomination - which
he deserved, since he is the Lord's chosen instrument in these fearful
times - but I had to lay low in mah hotel room 'stead of standin' proud
on the Convention floor where the folks back in Texas could see me.
So I'm havin' a hard time forgivin' you for the indignities which you
heaped upon mah person, such as ridin' me like a pony, forcin' me to
kiss your feet and ass, and other affronts to mah manhood which I won't
mention! You may have had a good ol' time at mah expense, but I want to
remind you that the Lord watches over all of us, and in His own good
time He will defend the righteous against the evil minions of Satan!
I prayed with the minister of my church for the strength to forgive you. 'Course I couldn't tell him all the details, but he said that you
and all the women in New York City was hedonistic and rebellious, and
wouldn't be goin' to Heaven unless you repent real soon. Most likely you
are goin' to spend all eternity in the Other Place, 'long with Gloria
Steinem, Ellen Degenerate, Huck Finn, Al Frankenstein, the Marquis de
Sod, and John Kerry.
FYI, I been workin' out in the hardware store, liftin' tools and
appliances, when there ain't no customers. So if I ever get back to New
York, I might drop by for a little rematch.
Remember to vote for Bush and Cheney on Nov 2!
Now that my alter ego has gotten all that off his chest, I have a few
things to add.
That session went way beyond my expectations. I had to remind myself a
few times that it was that sniveling, hypocritical Jimmy Bob who was
being dominated and humiliated, not me, and that it wouldn't go on
forever. It was a total turn-on! You really are good at what you do. And I
was glad to read in your blog that you enjoyed it as much as I did.
You mentioned that if I ever want to do another roleplay in the future,
I should contact you with the details so you can prepare. It's not a
question of if, but when...
Remember to vote for Kerry and Edwards on Nov. 2!
I recently corresponded with a woman who wanted some BDSM tips and after recommending the following titles to her, I decided you all might find some use for them too.
SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller, Molly Devon
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --
Old results here
I had a very busy Halloween. I took the awesome kids trick or treating in SoHo with the Children's Museum of the Arts dressed as a witch in a long black velvet dress with a pointed hat. For the evening's adventures I switched to thigh high leather boots, fishnets, leather mini, black corset, cream ruffled shirt and black eyepatch & bandana to become a very sexy pirate. I rode Abby's anniversary float in the west village Halloween parade, and then attended Evita's What Is Fetish? party over at Opaline. I received a niteflirt call as I was en route to the party and My client paid for the privilege of accompanying Me for the first half hour via My cell phone. I tucked it upside down in My cleavage and let him listen as I greeted friends and explored the party.
On another front, a phone client requested a task from Me. I told him to go to a shelter, rescue a cat and devote himself to caring for her as he wishes to care for Me. On one hand, I may have just helped save a cat's life. On the other hand, what if his obsession with Me dwindles and this poor cat is stuck in an unloving home?
Last night I stopped at the shop to pick up lizard food and went into Doc Holliday's, I thought, just to use the bathroom. I ended up drinking through closing and going over to an old co-worker's place to watch Kill Bill volumes 1 and 2 consecutively. It was so great to a-finally see those flicks, b-see them back to back (all those poor people who ran to the theater and the had to wait for the second one to get released!) c-see them with someone who also had somehow mangaed not to see them yet.
As a random aside, can I not set foot in an East Village bar without running into another Pro-Domme? Yesterday I met Gisselle and tonight I ran into Harlequinn. I suppose it is another one of those thematic things and as I plan to attend at least three fetish related events before the end of the month, I'm sure I'll be seeing many more. I'll plug those events later this week, I can't be bothered to hunt up their links just now.
Oh yeah, I'm "original/quality" according to Jane's guide! I'm so flattered!
Yes I left, but I still have a special place in My heart for that insane spot. C'mon, I spent practically every waking moment (and plenty of sleeping ones) there for the last five years. Hopefully this benefit will produce the boost that C needs to keep the store open. As soon as I know for sure the date and place (even though I am not sure how welcome I'll be there) I'll let you know.
As I am now obviously looking for work, I expect I will be Domming more frequently and will have more sexy stories for you all.
Across her back, C wrote "Anti Bush t-shirts $15 plus tax." Her thug style tattoo reads "IDEALIST" The stickers read "Attention Republicans: Go Fuck Yourselves" they are promoting a song by The Greys and we've given away hundreds of them. Thanks to Thomas and his amazing fotolog for the image.
Which is more terrifying? A naked blue Japanese child in your peripheral vision OR a Japanese home strewn with garbage?
I was slightly dissappointed to see that there were no Takashi Miike flicks this year. So far we've seen: Legend of Evil Lake, Zatoichi 3, Juon and Juon2. This was the second time we saw Juon, last year some time it was up at Lincoln Center, but it was just as scary the second time! Perhaps even more frightening, is that the american remake is already in post-production starring starring Sarah Michelle Gellar! As we exited the theater C overheard someone explaining to his companions that it was actually the messy house that really scared Japanese audiences.
Flicks I am particularly looking forward to are: Vibrator, Antenna, Azumi and Doppelganger. When I playfully bitched at one of the organizers about the fact that they don't sell full festival passes and that they had better start meeting My needs by next year, he told us that unless they find a corporate sponsor, there might not be one next year. It is terrifically expensive getting these films over here to be shown. So if you have the corporate strings to pull...even if you don't, COME CHECK IT OUT!!!
I'm not sure what's worse: the belligerent, drunk, incoherent, paranoid, accusatory, schizophrenic, Tourettes' bum; or the overly friendly, generous, supportive, paternal, homeless man.
Hanging out on Avenue A at 5 a.m., working at the world's only 24-hour record store/hangout for the unemployable, I'm more than used to dealing with the former. They come in with garbage they've found somewhere and try to hock it to us before they pass out in Tompkins Square Park across the street. Usually a simple menacingly glare and a 'No Thank You" will shoo them away easily enough before they start screaming at me.
This older guy came in with a stack of maybe 50 LPs and 45s in his grocery cart early this morning. The records were all in terrible condition, scratched, wet and torn, but he had some awesome titles. A lot of them were 1960s South American mambo and garage rock albums. The coolest featured some kind of Latin Sammy Davis Jr. in a gay pirate costume on the cover. The artwork alone was worth picking them up for a look. The owner of the store took a little time to examine the records to see if any were worth buying for the store.
In the meanwhile, the homeless guy started talking to me. He asked where I'm from and if the traffic there was as bad as it is in New York. Then asked me what famous people are from Baltimore (he knew Johnny Unitas, but not Cal Ripken).
"Well, you can be a famous person from Baltimore," he said.
"I'm working on it," I said and smiled.
"Good, what do you do?" he asked.
"I write," I replied.
"Fiction or nonfiction," the 56-year-old gentleman asked politely.
"Mainly nonfiction," I said.
"Do you have anything written or published?" he queried.
"I've had stories in some newspapers and magazines," I said, surprised by his inquisitiveness.
"Do you have anything with you? I'd like to read it," he said.
I told him that I didn't have any of my clips on me.
"Well, bring some here. I'll stop by again and see if you left anything for me," he told me. "You're gonna make it. If you try, you can accomplish anything."
By this point, the owner had gone through the albums and determined that only a handful were sellable. The man gave the owner the whole pile rather than carry them around. He just wanted them to have a good home, he said.
As he walked away, he pulled something out of his cart and handed it to me.
"Here's a present for you," he said.
The eternal optimist shoved a red, Tickle Me Elmo doll in my hand. Both the owner and I were completely baffled by the gesture.
"No thanks, that's very nice of you, but you keep it," I said.
"No. I'm going to go sleep in the park," he told me with a smile. "It makes too much noise."
Then he grabbed his cart and ambled across the street. I pressed the stomach of the damp Elmo doll. It began to giggle maniacally.
"Oh boy!" Elmo laughed. "That tickles."
I gave the owner the doll for the store, and he set it out to dry when the sun came up. I couldn't tell if the old man was the nicest person I've met in New York, the craziest or the funniest.
About an hour later, as the sun was coming up, one of the balding, cackling, nonsense-talking homeless guys came running down the sidewalk. He picked up the Elmo doll and a look of sheer joy crossed his face.
"That's ours," the owner of the store said. "That's not trash."
The guy held up the Elmo doll and squeezed it in his outstretched hands, smiled and laughed. "Tickle Me Elmo!" he giggled before setting it down and running off.
I had know idea that a child's toy could make grown men so happy. Are they showing Sesame Street in flophouses now? Now I'm going to have to start bringing the friendly homeless man my clips. At least my mom won't be the only one excited about them.
Perhaps I am going overboard being so self-referential today, but now that you have read his take on the homeless men and their treasure/trash, here's what I had to say about it.
Lately one of our employees has been letting us dogsit her absolutely amazing one year old french bulldog. I am fully aware that websites and blogs devoted to how adorable one's pet(s) are, is beyond passe. However this animal has utterly stolen My heart.
Her name is Lola. No she wasn't a showgirl, nor does she walk like a woman and talk like man.
I know everyone is completely Reaganed out by now, but I've been meaning to link to this since I first saw it. Call Me completely gullible if you will, but as much as I was surprised, I was actually taken in by the first few paragraphs.
The above definition is lifted from The Free Dictionary under "Multiple Penetration"
As I might use it in a sentence, "You little pussy faced bitch! If I have to tell you to get your hands away from your cock one more time, I'll have you spitroasted tonight!"
I must add that I have only learned this term Myself in the last 2 or 3 years when an Aussie friend of mine came back from a night of drinking after playing netball. One of the other girls on her team told them all a debauched story about being spitroasted by her boyfriend and a friend of his. My friend immediately related this tale to all of our friends over brunch the next morning, asking if any of us were familiar with the term.
I am currently reading Rats: Observations on the History and Habitat of the City's Most Unwanted Inhabitants by Robert Sullivan. I love anything to do with old New York and though his study took place recently there are many anecdotes ala Low Life. I’m up to the part about Kit Burns.
The Ball is coming up quickly and I still haven't figured out what I'm going to wear. C has randomly obtained a black woman's braided wig and it has become the basis of his Rick James costume. See the cover of Street Songs:
Along with some of My pvc gear and a little black face...
I have suddenly had a multitude of cocksucker calls. It has been a constant barrage of guys that want Me to take them to glory holes or pimp them out. Is it Me? Do I inspire these guys to want to suck cock?
I suppose it should be a valid question, which Me is really Me. However I know that one side just isn't quite right without the other. Ask anyone who knows Me IRL how much I needed the outlet BDSM play provides during the time I was "semiretired." Often, My intellect/ability to articulate Myself/or really I guess My personality receive complements while in role. What? Have they never met a Dominatrix who reads before? or laughs at something other than their pathetic penis size?
When it comes down to it, I am grateful to have both lives. Each enriches the other. Too much of any one thing is dangerous (slaves: the preceding comment does NOT apply to your addiction to Me. hehehehe ) When I took My fetish sabbatical back in '99, I was burnt out. There were many factors contributing to why or how I ended up sleeping, breathing, even at times eating ('member Nouvelle Justine?) fetish. I was sleeping at the dungeon while I was between apts and working as a personal assistant for one of Arena's owners. So I slept at the studio, did sessions at night and spent My days coordinating the print and web advertising for (as I often affectionately referred to My co-workers at that time) 20 Diva Bitches as well as tons of prep for our annual event: The Black and Blue Ball. Note: This year's is May 20th.
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2004-04-24, 11:07PM EDT
Agency: An organization or individual that manages many providers. The agency handles all calls, bookings and advertising. The agency takes a percentage of the fee for each session.
All-inclusive: All services are included under one flat fee, no upselling, or hidden charges.
Angel/Feathers: Angel dust
Caveat: May also be used in ads to imply full service, as a bait-n-switch tactic, not a reliable indication of actual services provided.
Amazon: A tall, strong, often masculine woman.
AMP: Asian Massage Parlor
Around the world : Analingus and Fellatio.
Asian: Analingus , erotic stimulation achieved by contact between mouth and anus
Asian Cowgirl: Woman rides on top during intercourse, squatting over the man on her feet, not on her knees.
ASP : 1. alt.sex.prostitution: an unmoderated discussion forum (Usenet newsgroup) for prostitution and related topics. The acronym (ASP) is traditionally placed in the subject line of a post to be able to filter out spam. 2. Adult Service Provider
ATM : Ass to mouth. Penis, finger or toy comes out of her ass, and goes directly into her mouth.
Attempts : Trying to reach orgasm. e.g. She allowed multiple attempts: means she allows more than one orgasm per session if the client is able and interested.
ATF : All Time Favorite
Aunt Flo : Menstruation also; Period
B&S: Bait & switch: Internet, newspaper, or phone advertisements, which may include photos, written or verbal descriptions, do not match the woman who shows up, or she has been grossly misrepresented.
Babyback : Petite, young, attractive Asian woman.
Bag: Condom, with a condom e.g. "BJ in a bag"= CBJ,
"I filled the bag"= Orgasm.
Bait and Switch: Bait & switch: Internet, newspaper, or phone advertisements, which may include photos, written or verbal descriptions, do not match the woman who shows up, or she has been grossly misrepresented.
Baja Sur : Genitals. From the spanish "the low south".
Balloons : Breast implants.
Bareback : Without a condom.
BBBJ : Bareback Blow Job, oral stimulation of the penis without a condom
BBBJTC: Bareback Blow Job To Completion, oral stimulation of the penis to orgasm without a condom. (May spit or swallow)
BBW : Big Beautiful Woman, euphemism for overweight
BCD : Behind Closed Doors
BDSM : Bondage, Discipline, Sado-Masochism. This is a catch-all to refer to the various aspects of negotiated, mutually consensual exchange of power between two consenting adults. Regardless of the depth of the relationship, consent, safety and sanity are the cornerstone of the lifestyle.
Beret : A condom.
BF : Boyfriend
BFE : Boyfriend Experience, A subjective term used primarily by providers to describe good clients.
Birdwatching : BBBJTC and she swallows.
BLS : Ball licking and sucking.
Blue Pill : Viagra
Blue Steel : Viagra
Brown Shower: Defecation on your partner. Being shit on or To Shit on.
BS : Body slide. Service where woman may slide her body on yours using oil.
Butter face : A women whose body is very attractive, but her face is not.
Call Girl : Outcall provider, usually implies agency.
Cash and Dash: A rip-off. She shows up, takes your money, doesn't provide, might offer to "dance", and leaves.
CBJ : CBJ, Covered Blow Job, fellatio with a condom
CC: 1. Roman Numeral for 200. Roman numerals sometimes used for fees. (Roman Numeral converter) 2. Credit Card
CC Rider : A provider who is FS for $200/hr or less.
CD : Cross-dresser: transvestite, a person, and especially a male who adopts the dress and often the behavior typical of the opposite sex especially for purposes of emotional or sexual gratification
CFS : Covered Full Service
CG : 1. Cowgirl 2. Call Girl
CIM : Cum in mouth.
Civilian : A woman who makes herself available for sexual encounters but not for financial gain. May be less discreet than a provider and more interested in a relationship.
Clockwatcher: A term for a provider who counts the minutes until the session is over. Usually used to describe a provider who rushes and does not enjoy her work.
Collar and Cuffs match: Pubic hair matches natural hair-color (redheads, blondes)
Commercial Company : Prostitution
Completion : Orgasm. e.g. She gave a bareback blowjob to completion.
Cover : A condom
Covered: Various measures, such as the use of condoms or dental dams, are taken to avoid diseases (as AIDS) transmitted by sexual contact. (e.g. Covered Blow Job means a condom was used.)
Cowgirl : Woman rides on top, knees astride.
Crime scene action: Sexual activity during her period.
Cruising : Looking for prostitutes while driving.
Cups of coffee : Orgasms (e.g. multiple cups of coffee means she allows more than one orgasm)
Dance and Dash : A rip-off. She shows up, takes your money, doesn't provide, might offer to "dance", and leaves.
Date : 1. A session with a prostitute. 2. A man who patronizes prostitutes.
Date Rape : Date rape or acquaintance rape is a form of sexual assault that happens specifically on a date or by someone that the victim knows or is acquainted with somehow.
Date Rape Drug: Rohypnol (generic name flunitrazepam) has been associated with date rape, and has also been called the "Forget Pill," "Trip-and-Fall," and "Mind-Erasers." In combination with alcohol, it can induce a blackout with memory loss and a decrease in resistance. Girls and women around the country have reported being raped after being involuntarily sedated with Rohypnol, which was often slipped into their drink by an attacker. The drug has no taste or odor so the victims don't realize what is happening. About ten minutes after ingesting the drug, the woman may feel dizzy and disoriented, simultaneously too hot and too cold, or nauseated. She may experience difficulty speaking and moving, and then pass out. Such victims have no memories of what happened while under the drug's influence.
DATO : Dining at the O, Anilingus, oral stimulation of the anus
DATY : Dining at the Y, Cunnilingus, oral stimulation of the vulva or clitoris
DDE : Doesn't do extras.
DDG : Drop Dead Gorgeous.
Deep throat : Fellatio where the whole length of the penis is "swallowed"
Defender : A poster who defends or "comes to the rescue" of a provider who has been reviewed poorly, regardless of whether the review is accurate.
Delta Omega Gamma : DOG.
Deposit : A provider requires an upfront payment in advance of a session. Deposits are usually used by providers as a screening tool to hedge against no-shows.
DFK : Deep French Kissing, kissing with tongue
Digits: 1. Fingers (e.g I put four digits in her pussy) 2. Phone Number (Often used in strip club reviews, johns work to get "digits" in order to set up off-premises sessions.)
DILF: Dads I Like to FUCK
Doggie Style : Intercourse position where woman is on her hands and knees, man enters from behind
Donation : Payment to a provider
Doubles : A threesome with two providers
DP : 1. Double Penetration 2. Digital penetration
DT : Deep throat: fellatio where the whole length of the penis is "swallowed".
Ed Zachary disease : A woman with an unattractive face.
Ellie : LE, Law Enforcement
EOM : End of Message - Used in a subject line to indicate no further content in body of message,
Enhancements : Breast implants.
Envelope: Often cash payments for a provider are placed in an envelope. Rather than handing her cash directly, or discussing money, the envelope is left in a conspicuous location for the provider to pick up as she leaves (outcall), or after the hobbyist leaves (incall).
Escort: A woman who is paid for her companionship.
Face painting : Man ejaculates on woman's face.
Facial : Man ejaculates on woman's face.
FBSM : Full Body Sensual Massage; not usually full service; expect only massage (usually nude or topless) and handjob, but more services might be available.
Five-O: A police officer (uniformed or undercover).
FJ : Foot job. Stimulation of the penis using feet and toes.
Flake, Flaky: Errant behavior, often used for providers who no-show and/or have scheduling issues.
FOTC : Fuck of the century.
French: Oral sex, on either party
FS : Full Service, Vaginal intercourse to completion
Full meal deal : Full Service, Vaginal intercourse to completion
Get comfortable: Get naked. For security reasons, a provider may ask a client to "get comfortable" or "make yourself comfortable" before a session, this means to get fully undressed.
GFE : Girl Friend Experience, A subjective term, but usually used as praise for a very passionate, sensual, non-mechanical experience. Most consider deep french kissing a baseline requirement for GFE.
Golden Shower : Urinating on your partner, urine play.
Greek : Anal Sex
GS : Golden Shower, urinating on your partner, urine play.
Half and half : BJ followed by FS
Hand Job : Stimulation of the penis using hand and fingers
Hardwood floors : Clean-shaven pubic area.
Herb Friendly : Is amenable to marijuana use.
Hidden Charges : A provider takes the advertised fee upfront, but midway through the session she asks for more money for more services. (e.g. She might undress and give a massage for the advertised $$, but then ask for an additional $ for French, or $$ for FS, etc.)
Hindu Massage (Argentina) : The woman contracts her vaginal muscles during sex to squeeze you to completion.
HJ : Hand Job, stimulation of the penis using hand and fingers
HM : High mileage.
HME : Honeymoon experience. A subjective term used as praise for a very intense, very "real" session, usually DFK is a baseline requirement for HME.
HR : Hand Release, stimulation of the penis to orgasm using hand and fingers
Hobby, The: The patronizing of prostitutes.
Hobbyist : A man who patronizes prostitutes.
Honey Dust: Edible honey flavored powder for sexual enhancement.
Hooker : Prostitute.
Hostess Club : A lower end strip club where bargaining for sex acts with the dancers is acceptable, and some activities may occur on premises.
Hungarian : Bare back blowjob to completion and she swallows.
HWP : Height and Weight Proportional (i.e. "normal" build)
Incall : You go to her place (Could be hotel, motel, studio apt, her residence, or a mini-storage unit)
Independent, Indie : An escort who works on her own, without an agency affiliation. The escort manages her own calls, bookings, advertising and finances.
Interpreter : Condom (e.g. She spoke French without the aid of an interpreter = BBBJ)
IPO : Initial public offering: used to denote the public introduction of a new provider, usually via a review.
ISO : In search of
Italian : Similar to Russian, but penis between partners butt cheeks.
Jack Shack : Refers to an establishment (massage parlor, lingerie modelling) that is not usually full service; expect only massage (usually nude or topless) and handjob, but more services might be available.
JAG : John's Action Guide Review board, mostly east coast.
Jimmy Hat : A condom
John : A man who patronizes prostitutes.
Kama Sutra : The earliest and best known of Indian sex manuals, by Vatsayayana. It has been variously dated from 300 B.C. to 400 A.D.
L/A/S : Looks/Attitude/Service: A subjective ranking system. Each criteria separately ranked, from lowest (1) to highest (10). Examples: 2/9/8 = Unnattractive, but very friendly and good sex. 10/5/4 = Model material, but a poor attitude, and mediocre sex.
Landing Strip: Description of pubic hair
LE: Law Enforcement.
LFK: Light french kissing. (no heavy tongue)
Little blue helper: Viagra
Little blue pill: Viagra
LMP: Licensed Massage Practitioner
Lot Lizard: A prostitute that works primarily in truck stop parking lots (usually soliciting from a CB radio).
Madame : Proprietress of an agency.
Mall, Escort Mall : A website that advertises many different providers. The providers may be independent or agency, and may or may not be associated with each other, or with the mall.
Man in a boat, little man in a boat : Clitoris
Mediterranean : Anal sex e.g. "She took me on a trip to the mediterranean."
Menage a trois : An arrangement in which three persons (as a married pair and the lover of one of the pair) share sexual relations especially while living together
Merkin : Pubic hair wig.
MG : Massage Girl
Mileage : A subjective term that describes value for money and/or how accomodating she is. Good mileage usually means she either charges less than average, provides better L/A/S than average, or both.
MILF : Mom I'd like to fuck.
Mish : Missionary position, Man on top during intercourse
Missionary : Man on top during intercourse
MMF, MFM, MFF : Threesome designations. e.g. MMF = male, male, female MFF = male, female, female.
Mohawk : Description of pubic hair.
MP : 1. Massage Parlor 2. Multiple positions
MPA : Massage Parlor Attendant
MPCFS: Multiple positions covered full service
MPOS : Multiple positions oral sex.
MSOG : Multiple shots on goal: she allows you to have more than 1 orgasm during the session
Multiple Pops : She allows you to have more than 1 orgasm during the session (e.g. more than one or multiple pops allowed)
Newbie: A novice hobbyist or novice provider.
No-Show: Escort or Client never shows up for an appointment, does not contact in advance to cancel or warn.
No-Touch : No touching allowed. (e.g. No-touch Jack shack, no-touch strip club)
Nooner : A lunch-time or afternoon session, popular with married hobbyists.
NQBC : Non-quitter, but covered. CBJ to completion.
NQBS : Non-quitter, but spitter. BBBJTC and spits your ejaculate.
NQNS : Non-quitter, non-spitter. BBBJTC and swallows your ejaculate.
NSA : No Strings Attached. NO RELATIONSHIP!
O, Os: Orgasm, orgasms.
Off-the-clock : Activities that occur with a provider that she chooses not to charge for. (e.g. "We had lunch off-the-clock")
Operation Flea Collar : 2 year LE investigation of TBD board, culminating in June 2002 bust of Charles Kelly and Steve Lipson, owners and operators of TBD board.
Out, Outed : Private, personal information on a hobbyist or provider is made public. e.g. Someone's real name and address is posted to a public forum.
Outcall : She comes to your place
OWO : Oral Without, fellatio without a condom.
Party hat : Condom
Pearl Necklace : Man ejaculates on woman's neck and/or chest
Pimp : A man who solicits clients for a prostitute.
Pooner: A hobbyist who is immersed in the hobby culture. e.g. He may be very involved with the review boards and/or private exchange of information on providers and the hobby.
Pops, multiple : She allows you to have more than 1 orgasm during the session (e.g. more than one or multiple pops allowed)
POS : Pussy on the Side
Professional or Businessmen only : A subjective request used in provider advertising as a pre-screen for clients. The provider posts this in hopes of attracting "better" clientele.
PS: Private Show (Dance only)
PSE: Porn Star Experience, A subjective term, used as praise for a provider that might have a high energy level, a particularly hot look, or is very accomodating ("nastiness" factor).
PV : Private viewing: Dancing, modeling, perhaps a HJ; not usually FS.
Raincoat : Condom
REQ: Request: Used in the subject line of a post to indicate the body contains a request for information.
REV: Review: Used in the subject line of a post to indicate the body contains review of a provider.
Review : A critical evaluation of a provider. May include information on her looks, attitude and service.
Reverse Cowgirl : woman rides on top, facing away
Reverse massage : The client massages the provider.
Reverse Oral : The client performs oral sex on the provider.
Rimming, Rimjob : Analingus, erotic stimulation achieved by contact between mouth and anus
Russian : Penis between her breasts
Roman: sex play involving vomiting
Safe : Sexual activity in which various measures, such as the use of condoms or dental dams, are taken to avoid disease (as AIDS) transmitted by sexual contact. e.g. All activities were safe.
San Juan Capistrano : BBBJTC and she swallows.
Sandbag, Sandbagger : A subjective term for a review (or reviewer) that misleads the reader by giving unwarranted praise to a provider.
Sans : Without. e.g. She provided french sans beret = BBBJ
Scat : Defecation on your partner or feces play.
Screening : A provider or agency does a pre-session background check on a new client. e.g. collecting verifiable personal info such as the hobbyist's real name, place of employment, home or work phone, home or work address, or a referral from a trusted provider. Upfront deposits may also be used as a screening tool to hedge against no-shows.
Search Function : A software feature that allows a user to search a review board or forum, based on a keyword or words. Most often, this feature is used to find existing reviews of a provider, or to check the review history of a hobbyist.
Self-post : A provider or agency poses as a hobbyist, and posts a highly positive review of herself or agency to increase business.
Self-Service : Masturbation. e.g. "It was a self-service jack shack" = no contact with the dancer, but the man can masturbate.
Sensual Massage : Not usually full service; expect only massage (usually nude or topless) and handjob, but more services might be available.
Session : Paid time spent with a provider.
Sex Worker : Catch all phrase sometimes used to describe prostitutes. May also be used in the context of strippers, peep show workers, topless waitresses.
SFH : Sex for hire.
SG : Street girl.
Shemale : Transexual, particularly one who is living as a woman, but hasn't had SRS. Penis may or may not get erect.
Shill : A hobbyist who writes unwarranted positive reviews in exchange for discounts or special favors from an agency or provider.
Shots on goal : Attempts to reach orgasm. e.g. She allowed multiple shots on goal: means she allows more than one orgasm per session if the client is able and interested.
Sixty Nine, 69 : Partners perform oral sex on each other simultaeneously.
Slam, Slammed An unwarranted harsh review or abusive criticism of a provider.
Snowball, snowballing : Provider takes ejaculate in her mouth and returns it via kissing to the ejaculator.
SO : Significant other.
SOG : Shots on goal, attempts at orgasm.
Soixante neuf : 69: Partners perform oral sex on each other simultaeneously.
SOMF : Sat on my face.
South of the border : Genital region.
Southern France : Fellatio without a condom.
SP : Service Provider, prostitute.
Spanish (Australian) : Penis between her breasts, Russian.
Spanish (USA) : Penis, finger or toy comes out of her ass, and goes directly into her mouth.
Spinner : A very petite provider. Etymology: From the 1970's toy, "Sit 'n' Spin"
Squirting, Squirter : Female ejaculation, a provider who ejaculates
SRS : Sexual reassignment surgery
STD : Sexually transmitted disease.
Sting : A female police officer poses as a prostitute to apprehend unsuspecting johns, or a male police officer poses as a john to apprehend unsuspecting prostitutes.
Street action : Prostitution that is solicited on public streets. Prostitutes (usually on foot) are picked up by Johns in motor vehicles. Sexual acts may occur in the vehicle, or at another agreed upon location.
Stroll : A street, strip, or neighborhood that sees heavy street action.
Summer teeth : Her teeth, some are there, some are not.
Sunshine, sunny: Without a condom (i.e. No raincoat)
SW: 1. Street walker. 2. Sex Worker
Sybian: A mechanical sex device that is in the shape of half-barrel with a dildo attachment mounted in the middle.
Take care of business: Payment is made to provider. e.g. "She wanted to take care of business first"
TBD:The Big Doggie, National Reviews and discussion (All major cities)
Teabag, Teabagging: Man squats and dips his testicles into partners mouth.
TER:The Erotic Review, National Reviews and discussion (All major cities)
TG :Transgender: Catch-all term for TV, TS, Shemales, and CDs.
Throne Job: Self-service hand job. Refers to an establishment that doesn't offer FS. The premises will only have a large chair or "throne" for you to sit on and masturbate while the woman dances for you.
Tipping required: Hidden charges, provider demands more than the advertised price in order to perform, or bargains hard for various services.
Took one for the team, TOFTT : A hobbyist reviews a provider who has no (or scattered) reviews. He was ripped off, or his experience was very poor. Ostensibly, he has helped save other members of the community (the team) from making the same mistake.
Toss the salad : Analingus
Translation, translator :Condom i.e. "She spoke fluent french without a translator" = BBBJ
TRB :The Review Board. Seattle reviews and discussion (Some British Columbia)
Trick : 1. A sex act for money 2. A man who patronizes prostitutes
Trolling : 1. The act of driving around looking for a prostitute 2. Posting to a discussion board with the intent to anger or incite others
TS:Transsexual: a person with a psychological urge to belong to the opposite sex that may be carried to the point of undergoing surgery to modify the sex organs to mimic the opposite sex
Tuft : Description of pubic hair.
TUMA: Tongue up my ass.
Turn tricks : Prostitution
TV=Transvestite: person and especially a male who adopts the dress and often the behavior typical of the opposite sex especially for purposes of emotional or sexual gratification
Uncovered: Without a condom.
VD: Venereal disease
VFM: Value For Money.
VGL: Very Good Looking.
WAH : 1. From Wahei: peaceful, harmonious and calm (Japanese) 2. Wild Ass Humping
Water Sports: Urination play.
Weeklies : Alternative weekly newspapers. These often contain various adult service listings, including massage and escort advertisements. e.g. The Village Voice, San Francisco Bay Guardian, The Stranger.
WF: Wild Fuck
WG : Working girl. A prostitute.
White Knight: A poster who defends or "comes to the rescue" of a provider who has been reviewed poorly, regardless of whether the review is accurate.
With : With condom (e.g. French with = CBJ)
Without : Without condom. (e.g. French without = BBBJ)
Working girl: A prostitute.
YMMV : Your Mileage May Vary = Catch all phrase to remind that tastes differ, reviews are inherently subjective, and that providers have good and bad days, thus experiences vary.
YMMV Girl: A provider who is known for being inconsistent in her attitude and service. i.e. Gets hot and cold reviews.
$: The dollar sign is sometimes used for fees.
Usually $ = $100, $
$ = $200,
$$ = $300 and so on. Often .5 signifies $50, so $$.5 would mean $250.
69:Partners perform oral sex on each other simultaeneously.
411: Information, intel. e.g. "I got the 411 on her from jessejames69"
420: Marijuana Lovers/Fan
Snow/Ski: Cocaine Lovers/Fan.
Deaf: cant hear or talk on the phone.
Hearing-Impaired: cant hear but can talk on the phone
IPO: Intial Public Offering
I am a total lexiphile (now if someone would buy Me an OED, I could check if that was an actual word!). My major at Bennington was half creative writing. Have you ever seen Say Anything? It is one of My all time favorite movies, (alongside Audition, which will momentarily lead Me to the second theme). Do you recall that Ione Skye's character had a charming habit of placing a dot beside every word she had ever looked up in her dictionairy? I actually emulated that for a few years.
The second theme will be dealt with next...I promise.