I have new daily reading: Belle de Jour diary of a london call girl. I guess having stuck my toes (literally, hehehe) back into the sex industry has sent me looking for other intelligent, still sane people who can actually separate their sex work from their real lives. It isn't that I haven't met a few at our dungeon, but they are rare. I stopped at the new studio tonight on my way to break into my old boss' apartment to feed her cats. The dungeon moved over 2 months ago, but I haven't done any sessions and have been lazy about checking it out. Misa was there doing a photo shoot, and it was terrific to see her. There are only 2 rooms up and running for now and I have an intense preference for the red room over the white. Of course there aren't any pix up yet on the web to show you, but I'm sure they'll be there eventually.


My week in review: Sunday night--deep stress and fear regarding pending visit with Dr. Zaroff for neuro-psych evaluation as recommended by one of our couples therapists due to excessive memory issues. I'd never experienced this fear of going to the doctor's office. I haven't had a root canal and my childhood dentist was a family friend. My first gyn exam was with a friendly middle-aged woman who was upset with her assistant for having had me disrobe before meeting her; after inserting the speculum, she had me sit up and handed me a mirror so I could "see what's going on down there." No doc related stress ever. But this time I was really scared that I was going to find out that I have a tumor, or brain eating bacteria or even that my brain had irrepairably atrophied from lack of use and that within months or years I'd be a drooling idiot. In short, scared. So Monday afternoon, C and I go in for the hour long preliminary interview, he leaves and I spend the next five hours arranging colored blocks, trying to recall grocery lists, filling in circles with #2 pencils and naming animals and colors. The results? I'm "of superior intelligence" with lower than average short memory/thought organization processes and once I start taking my effexor regularly and deal with the depression/mood swings/ADHD that have been present since I was 16, I'll be fine. Tell me something I didn't know when I walked in the door!"


For someone who works well over 100 hours a week, I am suddenly very busy outside the shop. Well, not really, I guess babysitting for a 5 month old, going to MORE movies and being paid to chat via keen isn't actually a social life, but it feels good. Tonight C and I made three sets of conflicting plans. The first was to see Gone With The Wind, but we thought that was tuesday. The second was the one i was actually interested in. Ben Lee playing a Jane Magazine party at Bloomingdales. But the third is the one we will actually attend, a documentary about Gary Wilson a possibly not even one hit wonder guy. He had this album in the 70s, but it seems to be a NYC rock culty thing, so of course we'll be there.


Went to see Gone With the Wind up at Loews 34th st for their classics @$5 last night, but it is playing thursday NOT tuesday. So instead we headed down to Union Square and saw Alien (the director's cut) followed by a "sneak into" Scary Movie 3. We already bought tickets to YOU THINK YOU REALLY KNOW ME: THE GARY WILSON STORY up at Lincoln Center for Thursday, so I guess I will remain a GWTW virgin.


I spent time in my bed last night for the first time since wednesday night. Thursday night I slept @ C's mom's apartment in Queens which we are finally packing up for storage, now that she's been gone a year and a half. The I worked until Saturday evening when I went to see NEW MODEL ARMY!!!. They haven't played the US in 10 years and I found out about the last show the day after it happened. Not only did I go to this show, I got in for free ('cuz I was on the list, yo!), but I went to the early and the late show!!!! Joy. Joy. Joy. Then I came back to work, until Sunday afternoon when it was time to head off to AMMI for the Tim Burton fest (let no one tell you that the Batman movies are worth seeing) followed by Kurosowa's Seven Samauri. It is 50 years old, over 3 hours long and undoubtably one of the best films I have ever seen.


Happy (belated) Birthday brain bleed! It seems I've been posting every now and again for over a full year. I really thought it had only been a few months. While I was officially NOT doing my work today, I found this interview with Adrian Tomine on bookslut. I haven't read Optic Nerve in years, but I remember giving away multiple copies of 32 stories because I felt my friends NEEDED to read it.

How sad and wrong is it to take advantage of the incredibly difficult housing situation in NYC? There are so many crimes to choose from! I charged two-thirds of my rent for a (maybe) 5x7 room in my railroad tenement that I cut through to use the toilet. At least my roommates over the years chose that particular indignity. Yesterday, my boyfriend and a friend, who has posted on craigslist for potential roommates for her oh-so-punk, exceedingly dingy Williamsburg place, decided to start videotaping the interviews. Surreptitiously, of course. But how entertaining does this whole little exercise become, when the bass player from a one-hit-wonder band shows up to check out the space and starts talking about the b-list celebs he hung out with the night before? And how he woke up sans cash & cellphone? hehehe, I'm so easily amused.


I set up a webcam at work! It was up for quite awhile before any of the staff even noticed. So glad they are an observant and responsible bunch! So it is actually not completely public, basically only you & I know the link [edited 1/15/04 to add: sorry kids, the link is no longer active, so I have removed it]. But for those of my friends who have been sending me the "I'm worried, are you still alive?" emails, now you can check in on me anytime you please.

My other current timewasting obsession is my listing on keen/niteflirt. Uh-oh I just put links to both of my jobs in one entry on my anonymous blog! Whatever, since I've only ever gotten 2 comments on the damn thing and all search engine inquiries that end up here are people actually looking for info on bleeding brains (not of the zombie variety), I'm not all that concerned. After all I'm obviously some attention/recgnition seeking loser anyway, right? Want to hear a little confession? I edited my bio page on the shop's site to include my whole name because I was dissatisfied with the results I got when I googled myself.