Books: Dusted. slave: utterly powerless beneath me

I allowed a slave to come to my apt yesterday. I gave him a menial, mindless task that actually brought great satisfaction to me. He began dusting and cleaning my books. One by one he removed them from the shelf and wiped every side with a damp cloth.

I was wearing jeans and a black sweater, but my feet were bare. When he arrived, I allowed him to kiss my feet hello. He confessed that he had never considered himself a foot fetishist, but he found the curve of my toes outrageously sexy.

I used him as a foot rest while I smoked a cigarette. I was so aroused by the control I held over him. There was a moment where I knew that I owned him entirely. He would literally do anything I ordered.


Your Wife Might Ask, "What does "OCIR OTRE" mean and why is it on your ass, honey?"

I neglected to mention the best souvenir I picked up in Puerto Rico because it was a gift I didn't want to spoil. Since it has now been given, I can tell you all about it! There are many gift stands en route to the rainforest, all basically selling the same few trinkets, but when we were headed out, after our hike (and my swim) we stopped for a bite at a literal shack. I browsed their meager selection and saw nothing of note until I found the basket of wooden machetes. Why they sell pieces of wood shaped like machetes emblazoned (is that even a word?) with the words "PUERTO RICO" in alternating red and green letters, I really do not know. However, I looked at these "machetes" and immediately thought of them as wooden paddles! I gave my right calf a few thwacks to test it out (yes, I received some odd glances for that move)and promptly purchased two. One for my personal collection and the other was my holiday gift to the Ladies of Rapture. I know it isn't going to hold up past a heavy masochist (hell, I watched Emanuelle split a one-inch-thick paddle over a client's ass) but it will make it through many light paddlings and I know I'll smile every time I use mine!

BTW, I really do love that the jitney has wireless. I feel so sci-fi cruising down the highway while on the web.


Back In the Cold

Over all I had a great time in Puerto Rico. My primary activities were reading on the beach and playing blackjack. I managed to make it to the gym a few times and took a hike through El Yunque (I was the only member of my tour to brave swimming the pools and waterfalls). I went out to dinner with random people I met along the way. A few days in, I booked a massage and scrub with the resort spa. When the therapist came to get me from the waiting room, I was immediately disappointed. She was older and slight. I like a strong massage and I couldn't imagine this tiny woman had it in her to work my muscles the way I like them done. Turns out she's been doing massage for thirty years and she was amazing. Possibly among the best I've ever had. Something odd happened during the massage though. Out of absolutely nowhere I started thinking about my father. It had been over a year since we last spoke and several years since I've seen him. I thought about how this vacation had the fingerprints of his taste all over it. Both of my parents, really. I thought about how my mom would take me on vacations like this and I decided to call him and depending on how the conversation went, invite him down to join me. The conversation went well enough. But he is just a shell of the man I knew growing up. I offered him a fully paid vacation including a gambling stake and he turned me down. He couldn't be bothered to travel.

I'm back in NYC just for a day, then it's off to the Hamptons tomorrow morning.


Most Memorable Moments

I'm enjoying Puerto Rico with the exception of one thing...they don't sell camel lights here! Perhaps you do not understand quite how devastating this is for me. I took a cab to 8 stores in search of them! I finally settled for Camel Turkish Gold which some salesperson tried to assure me was the PR equivalent, but they're different. I know it.

There was a maxfisch thread about most memorable moments in session, not best sessions, just those moments you'll never forget. For those of you who don't read maxville, here's what I had to say:

I don't know if I'd call these my "best dungeon moments" but I'll certainly never forget any of them.

1--While still a house Mistress, a client had been booked for me. He specifically requested that we forgo the consult as he did not want to encounter me out of role: Strict Uber Bitch Dominatrix. Along with the list of activities he enjoyed he also specifically requested that I not smile at any time. I remember that I paused outside the dungeon door, arranged my cleavage and my game face. With an angry glare I threw the door open. Naked, kneeling with his head to the floor in the center of the room was the youngest, hottest, most hard body client I had encountered at that time. A twinge of a smile started to cross my face and I stilled it. But then he looked up and in a booming Australian accent, he said "G'day Mistress!" I actually lost it and started laughing hysterically.

2--The first time I came in session. Somewhere after my lifestyle play during my early pro-domme days I'd been taught that session was not my "sex." So while I still enjoyed playing, I never thought of it as sexual for me. I was wearing a strap-on and literally fucking my client's face. I had him by his hair and I'll admit that he took my revenge for any time my head had ever been pushed or held down while giving a blow job. Caught up in the rush of power, I don't recall actually realizing that I'd found the correct angle to have the base of the harness rubbing my clit. But suddenly I was coming and I locked my thighs around his head with the dildo still deep in his throat and bucked all over that couch. When he left and I went back to the locker room I was all flushed and confused with my mind racing: Was that "ok?" Did I just break a dungeon rule?

3--Many years ago I had a regular with a cannibalism fantasy. Over the years I "prepared to eat him" various ways, but the moment I'll never forget was the terror in his eyes as I brandished a bloody handful of raw chopped meat, claimed it was the leftovers from the little boy I ate last week, bit off a chunk and threw the rest at him as he laid bound on the floor. It hit his torso with a wet thwack and rivulets of blood ran all over him. he kept looking at his chest and looking at me over and over again. God that was a great moment!


Not That You Were Actually Worried....

but I've safely made it to the beach. Hooray for wireless!


OK, so there's no MTA strike. Did this matter in any way whatsoever to me? No. Besides the fact that I'm a total cab-whore, I live on the LES and work in SoHo (and I'm headed out of the city for the next week). I barely ever use public transit anyway. I'm sitting in JFK waiting for my (currently 15 minutes delayed) flight to PR. JetBlue's free wireless rocks, particularly since I never got around to picking up a book to read on the flight. I've just tabbed out about two dozen pages of blogs and articles to read en route.

Watched Unleashed last night. I can't believe I missed this flick in the theaters. I'd heard good things about it, but popped the dvd in knowing absolutely nothing about the plot line. The fight scenes are terrific. There's a group fight that reminded me of the amazing hallway sequence in Oldboy.

Flight boarding...catch ya later. I just had a horrible, "what if I die on this flight" thought and...ugh, I'm totally not afraid of flying. But I'll check back in to let you all know I made it.


Casual Sex Rules

Now, if I'd only known they were counting on me! I actually had lunch at Balthazar this afternoon and though I would never have noticed, my fashion savvy companion pointed out that we were standing beside Anna Wintour and Diane Von Furstenberg. There was actually a vine/bush covered screen that was disassembled after they left the restaurant.

This morning a friend asked me what the etiquette is regarding a sick Fuck Buddy. Should she bring him soup? Absolutely not! That's his girlfriend's job. I realize this is a topic that I probably know far too much about that perhaps the world at large does not. NYC casual sex definitely has rules. Why don't people know them? What should I call this book of protocol? Keep it simple...perhaps "Friends With Benefits" But I've always hated that term. I'm not friends with my fuckbuddies! Obviously we get along, and I enjoy their company, but they are certainly not who I call when I'm in crisis. "Casual Sex Rules" I kinda like that one. Eh, titles can come later.

Here's a set of five casual sex etiquette rules:
1. The term "booty call" is from the 90's. It's nearly 2006, if you're drunk and horny at 2 am, the proper procedure is to send a text message. This is beneficial on several levels, a-if your fb is asleep (particularly beside their significant other) this is neither obtrusive or offensive, b-your friends beside you in the bar (or the person walking their dog as you stumble home from said bar) don't need to know how horny you are or what you'd like to do to your fb, text messaging is discreet!

2. Birthday and holiday gift exchanges. Again, NO! NO! NO! Kindly keep your fb relationship in perspective. The two of you strictly serve each other's carnal needs. Is there any gift that could top that? Fuck Buddies are NSA (no strings attached) soooooo if one of you buys a gift then the other is obligated to reciprocate. How uncomfortable! Why waste valuable foreplay time with unwrapping and niceties of that nature? The breath wasted on your insincere "I love it!" would be much better spent on your lover's earlobe or genitalia.

3. Spending the night. Definitely acceptable. Makes morning sex so much more convenient! Coffee? Morning smoke? Sure! Go ahead, but please don't expect to go for brunch. Now, a One Night Stand is different, breakfast could be a possibility. Who knows? This might be your next significant other. But if the boundaries have already been established and you are not in fact dating, why go through the charade that you are?

4. Ironically, this list has been interrupted by a rule number one. Ok getting back to business. Yes, you can tell your fb precisely how you would like to be done. Sure I understand you might not want to tell a potential life partner about your dirtiest and kinkiest fantasies, there's a fear of personal rejection in that situation. (But then again should you be spending the rest of your life with someone who isn't interested in what you really want?) I digress. Basically your fb is there to get you off, suitable partners for this type of endeavor will be (as you should be) open to instruction and correction. You should not be in bed with someone that you can not talk about sex with.

5. PART ONE: You may continue to date or engage in a serious relationship while employing the services of a Fuck Buddy. In fact, this is encouraged. (Before anyone gives me shit about the conflict of a FB engaging in a serious relationship, I ask you to recall the following things, a-I personally do not believe in monogamy and maintain a complete separation between the physical and the emotional, b-I am not responsible for anyone else's commitments, c-most people cheat) Depending upon the individual FB relationship, your dating or "real relationship" exploits may or may not be discussed. If permitted, however, it is poor etiquette to compare and contrast your partners.

5. PART TWO: It is NOT acceptable to engage a FB with a significant other that you know. This means your best friend's, sibling's, band-mate's and co-worker's boy or girl friend is off limits. One would think this is self evident. But for those of you who might make this grave tactical error, remember, a FB is a casual, strictly sexual based relationship. This situation will lead to emotional behavior resulting in uncomfortable social situations, accusations, basically all the stuff a FB is meant to avoid. Do not confuse being the FB of someone in a "real relationship" with "having an affair." Refrain from emotional investment in your FB at all costs, it will only hurt you. Mistaking lust for love in a FB situation is breaking the rules.

Mood: exceedingly accomplished!

I finally finished revamping my site! I'm particularly proud of the gallery section, I went to battle with the html gods and won. I think, so if you are in windows or some browser I didn't properly code it for, do let me know ASAP. While I'm thrilled to put so many photos up that have never been on the web, I wish they were all new shots. But since my face has remained essentially unchanged since I was 15, I'm not concerned that photos a few years old misrepresent how I look. Full disclosure: the blue latex dress shots are just a few months old, everything else is at least 5 years old. BUT....I do have several photo shoots scheduled after my return from San Juan, so the next update is not so far away.

While engaged in conversation with a new acquaintence, I was reminded of this post. I gave that attentive smile and nod while he went on about a current political topic that I knew absolutely nothing about. My smile was perhaps a touch more genuine as I thought about dashing into the bathroom to google the topic.



Last night, after the Arena Holiday party, I met up with one of my best friends, his gf and a few of her friends at yuppie bar. I ordered my new favorite pretentious cocktail, a dirty vodka martini. I wouldn't order it at most of the bars I hang out in, so I was disappointed that it was not quite as amazing as the last time I had had it (when I ended up having four or five of them). I had a good time: random conversation, engaged in a Ms. Pacman duel, but the evening ended with my receipt of another perfect hanamas (for those of you not in the know, that is hanukkah and christmas combined) gift. I've received several absolutely amazing gifts and the holidays are still weeks away! OK, as much as I love the stuff I've received from my wishlist I am somewhat amazed at how my friends have chosen items for me that have brought me instant and complete joy. I, on the other hand, have purchased only one gift thus far, for a seven year old. I love shopping, I love giving gifts, but I hate this whole time frame pressure thing. What if I don't find the right present before the last week of December? And what is up with all this early gift giving?


Flip Flop Sidewalk Toes

This is a photo I took last summer of three NYC Mistress' sweaty and dirty, nyc street walking feet. Can you guess who they belong to?

Clockwise, starting at 3 o'clock, is ME! Then Nico of Rapture and Cyber.

My Frame of Reference...

I responded to Ardenne's post on Max Fisch entitled I can't even *think* vanilla! with the exact moment that I realized my frame of reference had changed forever. Many years ago I was asked to write a press release for Arena about our Valentine's Day Couples' Rental Special. The idea had been to appeal to a novice or more vanilla crowd via mainstream media (scenesters already knew our playspaces were available for rentals). "No problem!" I thought. But after about five or ten minutes in front of the screen, I said, "um...I really can't remember what vanilla people think happens at a dungeon. Everything I want to write either contains terms they won't get or will sound way too threatening."

Then a few weeks ago, I met a guy that I thought I was interested in. I sent him the links to this blog and my site. I told him that he'd learn more about me than he might even want to know, but I'm really open about who I am and what I do. The questions from his vanilla point of view were suprising to me. At first there were the obvious ones, terminology, what's CBT? (guess he didn't know that I'm in the midst of reading Family Jewels, a guide to male genital play and torment) NT? But then came the q's that illustrated that he really did not understand the BDSM dynamic. Dildo worship & training? Fisting? Did he miss the fact that I am the dominant player? Did he momentarily think I was a peep show girl? Obviously, I cleared up his misconceptions.

Why are my sessions always so thematic? The other day I saw two trample & smother clients. One of the sessions was a double Mistress with Emanuelle. During our consult he told us that while he was a novice, he really enjoyed trampling, "go crazy," he said, "bounce if you want." I'm sure you know that we took that comment and ran with it! I laughed so much while we absolutely crushed him!


You Really Can Buy Anything on eBay

I don't know how I hadn't heard about this previously. It took nearly three weeks and an email from a friend in Chicago. Ace Bar is for sale on eBay. Absolutely insane. I spent a tremendous portion of my adolescence drinking at this spot. Before it was Ace, it was The Mission. Back when I was in highschool and when I'd come home during college, this was my bar of choice. Granted, since I've lived in the neighborhood over the last decade I haven't really frequented it all that much, but I did have my 25th birthday party there (yes it had a theme, I forced everyone to dress as their favorite 80's teen angst movie character). There are no bids listed as of yet, perhaps it is just a publicity stunt, I know it's worked for me, I'll definitely stop in for a drink before I leave for PR.


This Week...

So the good news is that my knee is nearly healed, the great news is that I've finally figured out where I'm lounging on the beach for a week in late December! I'm headed to Puerto Rico. Absolutely alone and it is going to be phenomenal.

I spent time reworking my site this weekend. Why is it that every domme's website is black and red???? I'll let you all know when it is actually ready to be unveiled.

Something happened this week that leaves me utterly bewildered. I trusted someone that perhaps I shouldn't have. I am ashamed of my gullibility, angry at myself and yet saddened deeply by the whole experience.


She's Got Legs, She Knows How To Use Them (even when one isn't quite up to par)

I saw two new foot and leg clients this week. Ironic that the demand for my legs is rising as my knee injury made wearing fetish heels a near impossibility (but thanks to my AMAZING chiropractor, I'm well en route to 100%). I forced the first to go through several hoops to see me as I mistakenly thought he was someone who had previously no-showed me. He was absolutely sincere in his devotion to my feet. I find it amusing how men who enjoy legs and feet are consistently awed by mine. He was quite sweet as he lay on the floor gazing up at me with unabashed adoration that continued even as I crushed his cock with my foot. This guy was young, hard bodied and huge-cocked. I only note his size because it was larger than my foot! The other new client was also endearing after a misunderstanding in a completely different way. He was an older gentleman and so clear in his desires during consult that I had no idea it was his first session ever. He requested physical overpowerment and muscle worship. Throughout the session he made several inappropriate requests, such as asking me to remove my panties and to kiss my lips(!?!?!). I punished him each time, but it wasn't until afterward that I realized he wasn't trying to push my limits, he just didn't know the boundaries of professional bdsm. I asked how he had found me and he told me he had clipped the phone number from a magazine years ago. Why now? I asked and he truly couldn't tell me. But he made the most flattering comment, how decades of fantasy couldn't begin to compare with actually sessioning with me.

edited to add: I just d/l the song referenced in the title and it is horrible! My recollection of it is sooooo much better than the reality


No, I don't read the NY Post

I understand how a client may become addicted to his domme, but did he really think charging her services to his company credit card would just go unnoticed????