You may have noticed a! I guess I may have been spending too much time checking out my friend Thomas' fotolog The Use of Fiction. A few days ago I decided that my clients fantasies were SO much more interesting than what was actually going on in my life that I would start sharing them with you; however my last few calls were short and somewhat boring/inappropriate.

Me: Hi there. Who's this?

client: This is John and I have a huge cock.

Me: That's nice John, why are you calling me today?

client: I want you to suck my knob

Me: Really John, that's not what I'm here for. I'm here for you to serve me. Are you ready to descend toward poverty in my name?

client: I want you to suck my cock.

Me: John, that will never, ever happen. If you are lucky, I might allow you to suck some cock while I watch. Would you like to be my little slut John?

client: No, I want you to suck my cock.

Me: Wow John, not only are you a pathetic insignificant male, you are stupid too. Did you see my listing on the web or did you only hear me on the phone?

client: I heard you on the phone and I want you to suck my cock.

Me: Aaaaahh, I see. Were you mezmerized by my sexy voice? Do you need a strong woman to take advantage of you?

client: No, I just want you to suck my huge cock

click....What the fuck? There are dozens of chicks available for straight up phone sex, why call me? All of my listings say "DOMINATION." My phone intros are about "Let's MAX OUT your credit cards" and "Professional Dominatrix demands financial worship." There is no cock sucking involved in those two things! Whatever, I promise I will relate a better call soon.

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