The Panty Fetishist

The Panty Fetishist has a few breeds, the guy who likes to see you in sexy panties, the guy who steals your panties, the sniffer, the wearer and the masturbator. Obviously there's some cross-pollination. Tonight I saw a guy who likes to see, wear and share. Basically he wanted to see My sexy panties on My ass and once he had gotten a good look, I excused Myself to change My panties and emerged to give him the pair I had been wearing which he promptly put on himself. Since I a-have no intention of putting that pair on again once they've been on him b-I just bought them less than a week ago and lastly c-I'm sure keeping them was an extra special treat, I allowed him to keep them for an extra $40 tribute.

Kids say the darndest, part seven million and one

SO I have returned to being a personal assistant along with some light nanny duties. Yesterday the father related a moment he had with his 8 year old daughter. They were on their way to school and his shirt was unbuttoned, exposing quite a bit of chest hair. The girl says, "Daddy, you are very hairy!" and apropos of nothing in particular, "When I grow up, I'm going to shave my vagina. H [an older female family friend that recently took the girl swimming and probably changed in front of her in the dressing room] shaves her vagina!" His wife and I nearly fell off the couch laughing when he told us this story. His reply to these two shocking announcements was along the lines of waaaaaaaaay too much information, thanks.

My YK mitzvah and the walk home

Wow, where to begin. Let's see, the cousin that promised to loan me a significant chunk of cash, played phone tag with Me all week. I finally caught up with him at Yom Kippor dinner on friday night where he confessed that he could only front Me a quarter of the amount he had offered. Some help is better than none and while I am grateful for it, I wish he had been up front with me sooner. Saturday I saw two fun and easy clients. Both were primarily about foot worship. Around noon on saturday I saw a 75 year old grandpa who primarily spent our time together chatting while he cuddled my legs and occassionally kissed My calves. He was very sweet and when we discussed that it was Yom Kippor, he told Me that allowing him to worship My legs was certainly a mitzvah! Later that afternoon I saw another client who was also enamored of My legs and soles but from a totally different point of view. His session included humiliation along with spitting and golden showers. So while earlier I had gently and nearly lovingly discussed why worshipping My legs was such an honor, it became a humilating punishment for a (requested script) "dirty, pathetic and insignificant, pencil-dicked loser." Among his more amusing moments was when he asked if I would spit in his mouth after I had pissed on him, so he could have my saliva for dessert, because it is so sweet! Saturday night I went drinking and dancing in Williamsburg to celebrate Lisa's B-day. Had fun, even though portions of the night were spent in car service cars heading to bars that we only knew vaguely where they were located. I finished off the night with My friend J over at the Lucky cat where he was barbacking. We then decided to hang outabout halfway over the Williamsburg Bridge. For all the years I've lived on the LES, I'd never actually walked the bridge. Count on Me to make it memorable. My heels were killing Me, so I actually walked the length of the bridge barefoot! It was a very wobbly walk as I had multiple Vodka cranberries before that last beer.

No really, Moldy Peaches is playing for Accidental!

OK, time and date are set: Thursday October 14th, 8pm in BROOKLYN at The Hook. Tix are $10 and go toward paying C's rent.

Moldy Peaches saves Accidental CDs

So, here's some breaking news for the indie rock world. Moldy Peaches will be reuniting to do a benefit show for the shop. Wow. From what I understand they have been "on hiatus" for two years. Besides being local, and loving the shop (like everyone). C and the shop have a legendary special place in Adam Greene and Kimya Dawson's hearts. The way the story that he tells goes, way back in time before MP2K were even signed, we used to play their CD is the store all the time. We were selling burns that Adam made of their songs on consignment. And in that typical NYC is such a small town, one of our regular customers, Eric (who now owns Lit) was then a bartender at Bowery Ballroom. He walked in one night while the disc was on, asked, "Who is this? they're great!" C told him about them and he told C to tell them to drop a disc over at Mercury Lounge with the booking agent. C passed the message onto Adam and in the way that history is made, he ran a disc over and within a short time, they were booked to play with another local band that had their own buzz: the Strokes. I don't remember the rest of the story, how they hooked up with the Strokes' manager, but I think it was the beginning of the road that ended up with them signed to Rough Trade. We've always been amazed at how well known they've become. Over the last few years, we've had many new staff members (thanks to the no-longer-free craigslist job listings) who arrived at the shop already a Moldy Peaches fan.

Yes I left, but I still have a special place in My heart for that insane spot. C'mon, I spent practically every waking moment (and plenty of sleeping ones) there for the last five years. Hopefully this benefit will produce the boost that C needs to keep the store open. As soon as I know for sure the date and place (even though I am not sure how welcome I'll be there) I'll let you know.

Five Years = Three Bullet Points?

Today's big accomplishments included 60 pounds of laundry, a first draft of My resume and a drink with Dana. I also weighed Myself and have now officially lost 46 pounds. It has been a full decade since I last put together a resume. How precisely does one distill five years of one's life into three bullet points? I have a client tentatively scheduled for tomorrow night, so hopefully I'll have something a touch more titillating than laundry and resumes tomorrow.

Goodbye cricket experiment!

The cleansing of My apt has begun! No, I haven't thrown everything of his out of the window or started putting the THOUSANDS of CDs, DVDs and videos that have taken over My home on eBay. I'm not that much of a cunt...yet. I did remove his "ecological experiment." You see while we kept both of our aptartments, we primarily lived in Mine, so our pets (the lovely feline Sela and his bearded dragon Bob) live here. Bob is now nearly exclusively vegetarian, living on organic sunflower sprouts from the farmer's market, but he used to eat crickets. Live ones. In unbelievable quantities, sometimes a hundred a day. So we ordered them on the internet for 1.5 cents each rather than buying them at the pet shop for 8 cents each. That meant ordering them by the thousand and having two tanks in rotation. When Bob stopped eating crickets a few months ago, C stopped cleaning out the cricket tanks. He then watched with excitement as they rotted and new lifeforms emerged. Both tanks are now empty and washed. I also cleaned Bob's tank. He hasn't been handled much in the last few months and would not under any circumstances allow Me to pick him up. Those spikes become sharp when he is puffed up!

As I am now obviously looking for work, I expect I will be Domming more frequently and will have more sexy stories for you all.

I walked out...

Yesterday afternoon I packed up My computer and left the shop & C. I guess I am no longer a record shop girl by day. I have ended a five year relationship, really My first adult relationship. I'm probably still in shock that I did it, but it has been a long time coming and even though I have not yet made ANY of the major decisions that need to be made (as far as how I plan to support Myself, pay My mortgage and rent and other such reality checks) I feel that I have made the correct decision.

Now, Let's Talk about Me!

I'll call them "Celebrity Mistress Stalkers" cms for short. These are clients I've encountered, particularly via keen, but in house and (even worse) in real life, who speak or session with Me for the express purpose of pumping me for information about another Mistress. Are they joking? Why would I want to engage in a conversation about how wonderful/cruel/dominant another Mistress is? Do they not realize that this is beyond boring for Me? Arena is a large dungeon with something like 20 Dommes. As I no longer work shifts there and only come in for clients, it isn't like the old days when I lounged around all day there, getting to know My coworkers. There are easily half a dozen women working there that I've never even met! The cms comes in several varieties, the first and most common is the worshipper from afar. This guy has never had a session with the Mistress of his dreams, possibly hasn't ever even seen a pro-Domme. He wants to chat about what Mistress So and So will do to him in session. How the fuck should I know?!? I've never been submissive to Her! Sometimes I've done double sessions with the Domme in question and if I am feeling generous, I'll tell him a bit about her style. But for the most part, I'm mildly offended. Shouldn't you be calling to chat with Me about what I might do to you in session?