My Frame of Reference...

I responded to Ardenne's post on Max Fisch entitled I can't even *think* vanilla! with the exact moment that I realized my frame of reference had changed forever. Many years ago I was asked to write a press release for Arena about our Valentine's Day Couples' Rental Special. The idea had been to appeal to a novice or more vanilla crowd via mainstream media (scenesters already knew our playspaces were available for rentals). "No problem!" I thought. But after about five or ten minutes in front of the screen, I said, "um...I really can't remember what vanilla people think happens at a dungeon. Everything I want to write either contains terms they won't get or will sound way too threatening."

Then a few weeks ago, I met a guy that I thought I was interested in. I sent him the links to this blog and my site. I told him that he'd learn more about me than he might even want to know, but I'm really open about who I am and what I do. The questions from his vanilla point of view were suprising to me. At first there were the obvious ones, terminology, what's CBT? (guess he didn't know that I'm in the midst of reading Family Jewels, a guide to male genital play and torment) NT? But then came the q's that illustrated that he really did not understand the BDSM dynamic. Dildo worship & training? Fisting? Did he miss the fact that I am the dominant player? Did he momentarily think I was a peep show girl? Obviously, I cleared up his misconceptions.

Why are my sessions always so thematic? The other day I saw two trample & smother clients. One of the sessions was a double Mistress with Emanuelle. During our consult he told us that while he was a novice, he really enjoyed trampling, "go crazy," he said, "bounce if you want." I'm sure you know that we took that comment and ran with it! I laughed so much while we absolutely crushed him!