Your Wife Might Ask, "What does "OCIR OTRE" mean and why is it on your ass, honey?"

I neglected to mention the best souvenir I picked up in Puerto Rico because it was a gift I didn't want to spoil. Since it has now been given, I can tell you all about it! There are many gift stands en route to the rainforest, all basically selling the same few trinkets, but when we were headed out, after our hike (and my swim) we stopped for a bite at a literal shack. I browsed their meager selection and saw nothing of note until I found the basket of wooden machetes. Why they sell pieces of wood shaped like machetes emblazoned (is that even a word?) with the words "PUERTO RICO" in alternating red and green letters, I really do not know. However, I looked at these "machetes" and immediately thought of them as wooden paddles! I gave my right calf a few thwacks to test it out (yes, I received some odd glances for that move)and promptly purchased two. One for my personal collection and the other was my holiday gift to the Ladies of Rapture. I know it isn't going to hold up past a heavy masochist (hell, I watched Emanuelle split a one-inch-thick paddle over a client's ass) but it will make it through many light paddlings and I know I'll smile every time I use mine!

BTW, I really do love that the jitney has wireless. I feel so sci-fi cruising down the highway while on the web.

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