Whirlwind weekend finally ends

An exceedingly busy weekend is coming to a close. Friday night I saw a smoking fetishist. I love to smoke, I truly do. There is something so hot about listening to a guy go on about how sexy I look while exhaling smoke. There is also something very fun about an improptu decadent dinner at 2am. Saturday was spent alternately amusing the awesome kids and doing webwork. I'm so proud, check out what I made:

Then late last night I joined two of my closest friends for Jack Daniels driven barhopping madness. I am exceedingly lucky & shocked that I did not wake up with the world's worst hang over.

Today's extravaganza was a surprise baby shower for my boss. We actually pulled it off. She had no clue. One of the things I was responsible for was cheese. Have you ever been to DiPalo's on Grand St? I spent over $80 but I walked out with nearly seven pounds of various absolutely incredible cheeses. When I walked in, told them how many people I was serving and that I knew pretty much nothing about cheese. The woman behind the counter began cracking open huge wheels and slicing a bite off for me from each. I think she fed me for half an hour. I learned so much, not that I retained any of it. Something about age, consistency and some other factor. I told the saleswoman, I just want everyone to say, "This cheese is awesome!" And guess what, they did.

My favorite roleplay afficianado has booked another appointment with me. Some mistresses are very sensitive about not being scripted. While I agree somewhat and would have no interest in a session where I was asked to memorize pages of dialogue, I do understand that sometimes particular keywords or phrases are important. jimmybob has submitted a set of 22 sketches for me to choose our next scenario from.

Take a look, tell me what you think and which you might choose. I have my eye on a couple.

1. Claude Duval is a middle-aged visiting professor from France who believes that young American women cannot resist his Gallic charm. He wants to take advantage of this situation, but seducing one of the silly, moon-eyed coeds in his 19th-century French poetry class would be too easy. He turns his attention to Judith, the enigmatic goth chick who sits by herself in the back of the classroom. Wrong choice, Claude!

2. Giorgio, a self-absorbed film director, assumes that the actresses trying out for the role of Maria in his lavish, surrealist remake of The Sound of Music will do anything to get the part. His plan backfires when TV bad girl Shannen Doherty mocks his clumsy “casting couch” tactics during her audition. Not only does she force Giorgio to give her the part, but also the authority to edit the script and redesign the costumes. As a result, the film is rated X, and Giorgio’s career is ruined. He is reduced to directing porn flicks in the Valley.

3. Noreen, the statuesque leader of a New York lesbian gang called the Iron Maidens, is annoyed that the male gangs rule the city and rake in the big money. She challenges Ralph, head of the notorious Y-Chromes, to a wrestling match, with the winner to take over the loser’s gang and turf. Ralph has the hots for Noreen, even though he knows she doesn’t swing his way. He is sure that once she has been with a real man, she will see the light. He accepts her challenge, assuming that he will triumph easily and have his way with her.

4. Cabot, a middle-aged Harvard alumnus who is a VP at a major New York publishing house, hires Lisa, a recent Bennington graduate, as an assistant editor. Cabot expects Lisa to bring him coffee every morning, assigns her to work with washed-up authors, pats her on the ass, refers to his Ivy League education at every opportunity, and dismisses her alma mater as “artsy-fartsy”. This condescending asshole deserves his comeuppance, and Lisa knows just how to deliver it.

5. Rebecca manages a jewelry store, and intimidates her employees, both psychologically and physically. They have learned, the hard way, to obey her without question. Wilbur, a newly hired auditor, discovers that Rebecca is embezzling thousands of dollars each month. Ignoring his colleagues’ warnings, he confronts her in her office, threatening to go public with the information. After an unexplained absence of a week, Wilbur reappears in a janitor’s uniform. His eyes glazed and his jaw slack, he recognizes no one, and cleans the store compulsively three times a day.

6. Mary Ann babysits every week for Bobby, age 10. One night she comes into his bedroom to tuck him in and discovers him doing something naughty to himself. Mary Ann threatens to tell Bobby’s parents unless he participates in some wicked games which she has devised.

7. Tony, a Mafia soldier, is nabbed during a drug bust. The FBI spends days interrogating him, trying in vain to get him to finger his superiors. Finally one of the agents contacts Mistress Denise, a dominatrix with whom he once had a session. She agrees to help the FBI when they offer to double her usual fee. After less than an hour in her dungeon, Tony abandons his omertà, and sings like a canary.

8. Lois Lane and Superman decide that it is time to take their relationship to a new level. During a night of torrid passion, Lois discovers that Superman is indeed vulnerable – and not just to kryptonite. She now controls the Man of Steel!

9. Marilyn tries on an expensive pair of mules in a shoe store. Noticing that the salesman, Harold, can’t keep his eyes off her feet, she tries to get the shoes for free by teasing and enticing him with her toes, feet, and legs. Driven to distraction, Harold checks that there are no other customers, locks the store, dims the lights, and offers Marilyn the mules in exchange for a foot job. She agrees, but as soon as he responds to her stroking, she starts to squeeze, stretch, and kick his genitals. In torment, Harold pleads with her to stop, but Marilyn just laughs and calls him a pervert and a wimp. She then forces him to worship her feet, and finally smothers him out. She takes the mules, plus all the money in his wallet and the cash register, and calls mall security to report a robbery at the shoe store.

10. Captain Kirk has a reputation as a ladies’ man, and makes a conquest on every inhabited planet which he visits. On Wrigley’s Pleasure Planet, Gwyth, a green-skinned Orion slave girl with long nails, catches his eye with her seductive dancing. Kirk has heard that Orion slave girls have skills that make them irresistible, and arranges for a private encounter with Gwyth. This time, however, he is the one conquered, as he discovers that irresistible actually means savage and sadistic. A few days later, a security detail from the Enterprise discovers the Captain in a seedy bar, weeping and drinking cheap Saurian brandy. When they return him to the ship, Dr. McCoy examines Kirk and determines that he is no longer fit for command.

11. Supermodel Melania Knauss is engaged to Donald Trump. A week before the wedding, his lawyers send her his famous “unbreakable” prenuptial agreement. Determined not to be discarded with just a few mill like Ivana and Marla, Melania invites the Donald to her apartment for drinks. When he arrives, she tears up the prenup and announces that she will be the one giving the orders in this marriage. When he laughs at her, she demonstrates a few moves she has learned in her kickboxing class, ties him up, and pulls out her box of special toys.

12. President Bill Clinton allows himself to be seduced by White House intern Monica Lewinsky. At first he tells himself that he is just indulging in a little oral sex, which is not real sex, but eventually he realizes that he is risking his career, public image, and marriage. When he tries to break off the affair, Monica freaks, and vows that if she can’t have the President, no one will. Having studied psychology in college, she spends her final hours in the Oval Office conditioning him to fear women and to become nauseous at the very thought of sex.

13. Mark and Susan are ambitious ad execs who dislike each other intensely. They are competing to head up a very big account, and their presentations tomorrow will determine who is chosen. Susan invites Mark to meet for coffee that evening, ostensibly to bury the hatchet. She gives him an address which turns out to be an abandoned warehouse. When he opens the door, he enters a dimly lit house of horrors presided over by a beautiful but terrifying witch. She combines spooky music, hypnosis, and pain to put Mark under her spell. The next day he comes to the presentation dressed like a bum, gibbering incoherently. Susan gets the account, and Mark gets the ax.

14. Tiffany is a finalist in the Miss America pageant. She notices that Jason, one of the three judges, looks bored and unimpressed during her talent performance: playing Dixie on the ocarina while standing on her head. Realizing that she might not win unless she can influence Jason’s vote, Tiffany slips him a note, suggesting that he come to her hotel room that evening to discuss the pageant. When he appears at the appointed time, Tiffany orders him to strip. Jason complies happily, admitting that he had hoped that he would get lucky. Responding “As if!”, she demonstrates another talent – torturing sensitive parts of the male anatomy - adding that this is just a taste of what he can expect if he votes against her. The next evening, two hours after Tiffany is crowned Miss America and all the participants have left, a janitor discovers a puddle of urine where Jason was sitting.

15. Anna Nicole Smith is a Houston stripper. Her favorite customer is J. Howard Marshall, a multi-millionaire 63 years her senior. He gives her expensive jewelry, pays for her implants, and eventually proposes to her. She may be a high school dropout, but Anna knows a major sugar daddy when she sees one, and agrees to marry him. She makes sure that Howard rewrites his will, cutting her in for a major share of the estate. She assumes that, given his age and health, a few nights in bed together will make her a wealthy widow. To her surprise, Howard manages to survive, so Anna changes her tactics. Perhaps his ticker will get more of a jolt from pain and humiliation than from pleasure.

16. Wendy, a popular high school cheerleader, sees no reason why she should have to do her boring old math homework if she can tease Albert, the class nerd, into doing it for her. At first he does her homework willingly, hoping to get somewhere with this hot babe. After a few weeks, however, Albert realizes that Wendy has no intention of going out with him or even letting him touch her. He decides to get even by making intentional errors on her take-home test. Little Miss Perfect is pissed off by her bad grade, and expresses her displeasure by practicing her cheerleading routines on Albert’s wimpy body. He recognizes bitterly that his academic talents are no match for Wendy’s physical and psychological dominance. He resigns himself to serving as her slave until they graduate.

17. Marc Antony, a Roman general, is infatuated with Cleopatra, the seductive queen of Egypt. For political reasons, however, he agrees to marry Octavia, the mild-mannered sister of his rival, Octavian. Despite his good intentions, Marc Antony cannot overcome his addiction to Cleopatra, and abandons his wife and young children to return to Egypt. Octavian offers to avenge his sister’s honor, but Octavia has no need for male assistance. She travels to Egypt, assassinates her rival, and shows her unfaithful husband that she is far more dangerous and exciting than Cleopatra ever was.

18. Macbeth, a Scottish lord, has been told by three witches that he will become King of Scotland. He relates this prediction to Lady Macbeth, who is excited by the prospect of becoming Queen, but disgusted with her husband’s reluctance to take the initiative. She insults his manhood and abuses him physically until he realizes that murdering Duncan, the current king, might be the lesser evil.

19. Catwoman dresses in a skin-tight vinyl suit and cracks a mean whip. Although she finds it amusing to strike terror in the male population of Gotham City, she wants to make a pile of money at the same time. She opens a dungeon called The Cat House, whose motto is “Unsafe, Insane, and Non-Consensual!” Batman notices that Catwoman’s clients all end up bankrupt and in therapy. Puzzled by this, he decides to break into The Cat House and investigate. Before the night is over, he reveals his secret identity to Catwoman, turns over his bank accounts and property, and becomes her slave.

20. Esther, Queen of Persia, realizes that she could appeal to her husband the King to defend her and all the Jews of the Empire against Haman, the egotistical vizier. But that would be no fun at all. Instead, Esther invites Haman to an intimate dinner in her private palace apartment. He accepts without hesitation, assuming that the Queen must fancy him, and that he can “fill in” for the King, as he does in so many other ways. After she welcomes him and plies him with food and drink, Esther informs Haman that she too is a Jew, and that he had better rescind his edict that all Jews must be killed. Unable to swallow his pride, he asserts that no one can stop him. Esther proceeds to show him how wrong he is. When she is finished, the only job for which Haman is qualified is court eunuch.

21. Sir John Falstaff is a rotund, boisterous, self-centered scoundrel and thief. He is currently short on cash, so he comes up with a plan to seduce married women in order to get at their husbands’ money. Mistress Ford, amused by his temerity, pretends to go along with him, but plans various punishments. The first time Falstaff visits her, he is forced to hide in a laundry basket when her husband approaches, and is eventually thrown into the river with the laundry. Undeterred, Falstaff returns to Mistress Ford's house a few days later. Once again they hear her husband coming, so she dresses Falstaff in women’s clothing to facilitate his escape. Despite this humiliating experience, Falstaff has not given up hope, so Mistress Ford asks him to meet her in a haunted forest in the dead of night. Disguised as an evil spirit, she tortures him with hot wax and things that pinch. Falstaff is so frightened that he swears off married women forever.

22. Charlie is a lieutenant on the NYPD vice squad. He has discovered how lucrative it can be to shake down pimps and madams to supplement his income. He decides to branch out into extorting money from BDSM dungeons, claiming that they are just fronts for prostitution. Mistress Athena gives him a thorough demonstration of what really happens in a dungeon. The next day, from his hospital bed, Charlie resigns from the force.

23. Mistress Penelope is a biology professor by day and a domme at night. She has been seeking a 24/7 slave, but none of her clients has demonstrated the absolute devotion and obedience which she requires. Raiding the local graveyard, she brings a recently buried male corpse back to her laboratory. Using her violet wand, she shocks him back to life. Since he is brain-damaged, she is easily able to control his behavior to indulge all her kinky desires.

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