I'm back.

I'm back in freezing cold NYC and I'd be lying if I said I was happy about it. Travelling is one of My greatest passions, but I've always loved coming back. New York is My home. But today, I'm thinking that living somewhere that the temp never dips below 70 degrees might not be a bad thing. I have the beginnings of a chest cold, so I headed over to Katz's for chicken noodle soup with a matzoh ball. I flipped through the Village Voice and found a column written by Rachel Kramer Bussel, Lusty Lady. I've never met her, but she is one of those people who knows many of the same people that I do and we travel just out of orbit of eachother. I linked to her personal site over on the blogroll ages ago and can't recall how I found her. Today I read over the archive of her columns and was particularly entertained by the one about Betty Dodson. Though I firmly do not believe in monogamy (for Myself, I know many people just can't handle it), I've never liked the word polyamory either and her attitude toward RKB & her lover was so very similar to the way I felt about N & C.

The Strict Babysitter: sounds like a roleplay, but it isn't

Ironic as it might seem, I never think of Myself as a disciplinarian or strict with the kids. In fact, I've always sort of thought Myself a pushover. I'm pretty free with them as long as they aren't putting themselves in danger of being hurt or disobeying their parent's orders. But maybe I take their parent's instructions more seriously than their parents do. We had a brief incident on the beach today that I feel badly about. The kids, their dad & I had gone swimming and were about to walk back to their hotel. The girl asked her dad to carry her sandals. He said no and told her to carry them herself. She whined and wheedled a bit. I repeated his carry them yourself with a somewhat final tone. I hadn't realized that he had relented and agreed already and I was still insisting that she carry them herself. It was momentarily awkward. Later that evening, she commented to Me, "You aren't like Daddy. When you say no, you mean it, he can be convinced if you just keep asking." I felt terrible, if amused. I think their parents are amazing parents. The kids are polite, smart, generally well-behaved and kind. 99.9% of the time our views are completely in line on how to treat and deal with children. The mom and I both seethed on the plane when we saw a couple hitting & sharply shushing their infant for crying.

For those of you bored to tears with the kid stuff, here's a link that jimmybob sent to Me today.

The boring vacay blog continues

Life, or at least journals, are always this way. When things are happening and interesting, there's not time to record or reflect; whereas when I have nothing but time, I don't really have all that much to say. The outgoing message on My cellphone while I am away says, "I am out of town & range for the holidays. Anything you have to say can be emailed to Me." It seems that this was an open invitation to TWO different slaves who have been out of touch for over six months to email Me. Odd. This afternoon, the Mom and I reminisced about a grouper sandwich we each last had nearly 7 years ago at the Ocean Club on Paradise Island. It must have been a damn good sandwich to stick out in both of our minds. But then that was a pretty amazing vacation overall. Besides the mindnumbing fact that My room at the resort nightly cost about the same as My monthly rent at the time, I had it in My mind that they had gone there to conceive their second child and I made it a mission to give them as much alone time as possible. Of course, what none of us knew, was that she was pregnant before we even left New York. The girl was only 18 months old then and so very easy to amuse, look there are trucks going by! Hey, that's grass under your bare feet!

The Nanny Diaries, volume 2

So, it is nine months later and I am back at Rendezvous Bay in Anguilla. The boy is fine, if a touch sunburnt from our first day on the beach. I spent the morning and early afternoon with the kids, but had the later afternoon and evening off, as well as free reign with the rental car. Their dad asked if I'd be going out tonight and I think he was disappointed when I said I'd just be tucking in with the new Kellerman novel I picked up this morning and finished just before I began this entry. It was great in that trashy thriller kind of way. I spent the afternoon driving around, checking out the shops I've frequented in the past, dropping off My laundry (I don't think I've ever been prepared enough not to travel with a bag of clothes needing to be washed) and attempting to get a manicure. Unfortunately, today's activities do not make for the most exciting reading. Now that the dsl is finally up in My room, I'm sure there'll be more to follow.

Loose Ends....

The boy should be fine. Thanks for all your kind and supportive thoughts. He's been admitted and will probably be kept for observation for a few days. Hopefully he will be entirely OK and we will still go to Anguilla for Christmas.

I worked the door for Leda's Rubbercat event over at Opaline again tonight. It was freezy-cold outside but people still made it out. I, of course, wore the full-length mink and was toasty warm.

Responsibility has been claimed for the lovely mules I received as an anonymous gift. It was jimmybob. He is quite sweet, as well as a fun and creative play partner. I look forward to playing with him for a long time. At My request, he sent Me a few one paragraph sketches of roleplay scenarios that he would like to explore with Me. Some of them are terrific! Details for you, once I've decided which one I am making a reality for him.

The boy is sick

There are few things in the world as unnerving as arriving to work to find that My bosses and their younger child have just left for the hospital in an ambulance. The boy is sick. Obscenely high fever and a seizure. I'm so scared. I love him so much. His parents are intelligent, informed and in a position to get him the best care possible, so I know "everything will be fine." But sitting here alone in their apartment I'm wavering between taking care of the things I came in to do today, running up to the hospital or chainsmoking in the hallway.

Brunch with the man who made Me a geekboy's dreamgirl

I had brunch over at 9th Street Market yesterday with one of my oldest friends, Jeff. I hadn't been there is a couple of years, but I assure you, the french toast is still sublime. Jeff is just good company. I can't believe I've known him since I was 14 or 15. He is angry, bitter, sarcastic and a total riot. He is the one responsible (I may have written about this before) for making Me seem like a geekboy dreamgirl back in HS & college. He turned Me onto ska and taught Me about comix. In return, I shaved his head regularly and fuck, I dunno whatelse I brought to the relationship other than always arriving at his mom's house just in time for dinner and six hours of bitching and whining over caffeine and nicotine. I'm just glad we are still in eachother's lives. After brunch we embarked on the buy Jeff new sneakers crusade. He shops like a girl. He didn't even like anything we saw at the first 6 stores, then when he was finally willing and ready to try on a pair, they didn't have his size. When we finally settled on a pair of black leather nikes, we bickered about whether he should wear them out of the store. I think we frightened the poor sales girl. I then introduced him to the ridiculous decadence of Cold Stone Creamery. Cake batter flavored ice cream. I need say no more about the product, but if you are into public humiliation, this a jackpot situation. The staff is required to SING each time they receive a tip. Not just the person at the register and not just a one liner, an entire song!

The show is on, gift received and others cancelled

I spent this afternoon preparing and printing the catalogue/price list for Ekko's show at Arena. The opening was this evening and I feel it went well. I made a new friend, who was wearing this ring, which I am now lusting over madly. Go on, tell Me it isn't hot, I dare you. I drank ridiculous amounts of coffee tonight, so perhaps I will finally do some actual work on the Octavia Arena site which is still pitifully bare. Oh, so the wishlist books that I was so excited about receiving have been cancelled! How rude! Telling Me that you are all about financial domination and then ending our correspondence and cancelling a gift order because I sent you a pay-to-view email? Whatever. But I am dissappointed about not getting the Traig book. On the other end of the spectrum is the pair of mules that I actually received from My wishlist without a note! Generous soul, step forward and claim your thanks.

WORK Work work

Lest you think I am always lounging around in My corset, I figured I'd share some of My latest accomplishments with you. Hey speaking of corset, I recently added Stormy Leather's "Lusty Octavia" corset to My (no, I can't believe it is available there either) Amazon wishlist. I'm not so self-involved as to think it was named for Me, but it does literally have My name on it. I put together a banner for the Arena Collective site:

I'm kinda proud, it is only My second animated gif. I've also been doing some promotion for Ekko's show "Fleeting Moments" which opens this friday.

My Mafia Fetish or Killing My Client

I've been so busy doing sessions, that I haven't had a chance to write about them! My most recent session of note was a series of roleplay vingettes. Over the course of an hour I tortured and killed My client six different ways. He said he'd seen Me about 6 or 7 years ago, but I didn't remember him at all. Which is odd, because his scene is right up My alley. I don't think I've mentioned this before, but I have a total mafia fetish. So several of our scenes were mafia related. The first one started with him on the table, coming to as if he'd been knocked out, while I was binding his wrists and ankles. The scenario was that he'd been busted skimming money from My "family's" operations. I beat him with a hammer and simulated removing his thumbs with a wire cutter, after all, I told him he wouldn't be counting money again. Another scene had Me as a new-in-town saloon hooker in the wild west and him as the owner, a family man, as he told me. In that one I pistol whipped him and "shot" him. Each death was accompanied by groans and him eventually going completely limp. Our final scene had Me as a thrill serial killer who had been torturing him for weeks and was finally going to kill him. I thrust a plastic bag in his mouth as a gag and ran a serrated knife across many delicate spots on his body. I pulled the bag out and put it over his head. Each time he breathed in it clung to his face. I allowed him to masturbate while he was gasping for more air inside the bag. I slapped him very hard across the face and told him this was going to be the very last orgasm of his life, but if he didn't come by the time I counted to ten, he was going to lose that priviledge. He came just as I said "nine."

EIGHT DAYS 'tll Hanukkah: wishlists are updated!

Thanksgiving was fun and low key. I went out to the Hamptons, ate turkey, watched cartoons Friday morning while snuggling with the awesome kids. Our Xmas trip to Anguilla is on and I am totally psyched. In other travel news, I have agreed to go on an all expense paid naturist weekend in January. I'll let you all know how that goes.

I was pleasantly surprised by an email from someone who has not yet called Me via keen or had an actual session with Me. He purchased the book from the reading mentioned a few entries below as well as two others from My Amazon wishlist. Potential slaves take note: this is an EXCELLENT way to introduce yourself! In that evil thing known as the "Holiday Spirit" I have updated both My Amazon wishlist as well as My Fetish Factory wishlist. Ummmm, hello? Get shopping! Yes, that was an order, bitch! Hanukkah begins in only EIGHT DAYS! I brought My (now out of print and rather valuable) DVD of Audition (a grovel slave Amazon wishlist gift from last holiday season) over to a friend's place to watch tonight. Damn I love that movie! It was really novel to watch it with two other Dommes. The one who had not seen it previously made the best comment. "That scene (those of you who have seen it know which one she is referring to) was great, I just wish it was longer!" And similar to my cilice fantasies after reading The DaVinci Code, I now really want [warning: this link has spoilers, please don't read before you've seen it!] an Audition themed session. You might notice that I added a bunch of Miike flicks to My wishlist, I've seen most of them, but I need to own them.

Mrooow: Rubbercat tonight at Opaline

Tonight I will be both attending and (for the early part of the evening) working the door over at Opaline for Leda's Rubbercat Party. It is part of Evita's Ulterior Motives series. Open bar 9-11. Come say hi to Me. Leda always has the best dress code description! Tonight's is: The suggested dress for the evening is fur bikers, cat-o'-nine-tail vixens, slutty alley cats, leather tom cats, latex kittens, puss 'n' booted tops, litter sniffing slaves, glamour puss dommes, felines in bondage or pussy-whipped bottoms!

Multi-talented: Dominatrix/Tech Guru

I've been going out A LOT! Last night I hit two birthday parties, my friend H's over at The Living Room and then Tibbie's over at Karma. Smoking is allowed at Karma!!! Granted I just had the SLC experience of smoking in bars, but between the 80's/90's music and the indescribably NYC atmosphere, I thought I'd been transported back to high school. I had a great time, geeked out with Michael Malice (yes we sat in a bar and I whipped out the ipod to play Jaymz Bee lounge versions of hip hop songs for him) and just relaxed. I saw a client this afternoon who was SO stressed about his doorman or neighbors figuring out that a Dominatrix was coming over that he asked me to a-wear jeans and sneakers, b-put on My makeup when I got there and wash it off before I left and c-when doing verbal humiliation, to please, please not speak above a whisper! As if that weren't amusing enough, our actual session was quite short, but I spent the rest of the hour doing tech support for his laptop and newly acquired ipod. ONLY ME!!!

An update from Jimmy Bob

You may remember the brilliant roleplay I enjoyed with Jimmy Bob. I received an email from him just before the election, that made Me laugh out loud. Choice excerpts below:

Howdy, Mistress Octavia!

You probably didn't figure on hearin' from me agin, seein' as how I
left the Arena fast as a jack rabbit with his tail on fire. But a few
days ago I was wanderin' around the WWW and happened upon your blog, and
was dismayed to see that you done blabbed and bragged clear 'cross
cyberspace how you outsmarted and humiliated me. That was right ornery of
you, when all I wanted was to assuage mah loneliness with some female
companionship, as it were, while I was away from home.

You may be wonderin' what I did about votin' at the Convention. Well,
I remembered you had that vidya tape, and knew you was low-down enough
to use it to ruin mah standin' in society if I voted for George Bush.
So I told the chairman of the Texas delegation that I warn't feelin'
too good - which warn't no lie, cuz mah whole body was still sore after
what you done to me - and he sent in an alternate, and he voted for
President Bush in mah place! So ol' W got his unanimous nomination - which
he deserved, since he is the Lord's chosen instrument in these fearful
times - but I had to lay low in mah hotel room 'stead of standin' proud
on the Convention floor where the folks back in Texas could see me.

So I'm havin' a hard time forgivin' you for the indignities which you
heaped upon mah person, such as ridin' me like a pony, forcin' me to
kiss your feet and ass, and other affronts to mah manhood which I won't
mention! You may have had a good ol' time at mah expense, but I want to
remind you that the Lord watches over all of us, and in His own good
time He will defend the righteous against the evil minions of Satan!

I prayed with the minister of my church for the strength to forgive you. 'Course I couldn't tell him all the details, but he said that you
and all the women in New York City was hedonistic and rebellious, and
wouldn't be goin' to Heaven unless you repent real soon. Most likely you
are goin' to spend all eternity in the Other Place, 'long with Gloria
Steinem, Ellen Degenerate, Huck Finn, Al Frankenstein, the Marquis de
Sod, and John Kerry.

FYI, I been workin' out in the hardware store, liftin' tools and
appliances, when there ain't no customers. So if I ever get back to New
York, I might drop by for a little rematch.

Remember to vote for Bush and Cheney on Nov 2!

Jimmy Bob

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mistress Octavia,

Now that my alter ego has gotten all that off his chest, I have a few
things to add.

That session went way beyond my expectations. I had to remind myself a
few times that it was that sniveling, hypocritical Jimmy Bob who was
being dominated and humiliated, not me, and that it wouldn't go on
forever. It was a total turn-on! You really are good at what you do. And I
was glad to read in your blog that you enjoyed it as much as I did.

You mentioned that if I ever want to do another roleplay in the future,
I should contact you with the details so you can prepare. It's not a
question of if, but when...

Remember to vote for Kerry and Edwards on Nov. 2!

Respectfully,
R

Pirate pic!

I received via email the only picture I've seen so far of Me on Halloween. Unfortunately it doesn't really show My costume, really it is all about My cleavage. That's Cyber feeling Me up.

Readings & Books

Last night, among other things, I went to a reading at KGB. Dana had mentioned it on her blog, the reader seemed amusing and it wasn't too far from home. I did not however catch on before I arrived that this was part of the "Novel Jews" series and that I would be surrounded by what, I think, are supposed to be My peers. New York, jewish, late twenty-somethings who read too much. I walked in and practically turned right around. Even before Jennifer Traig read and gave Me multiple Mom-related flashbacks, the crowd reminded Me uncomfortably of the Youth Leadership Board at the JCC when I was growing up. Regardless of the crowd, she was terrific and I've placed her book on My want list.

I recently corresponded with a woman who wanted some BDSM tips and after recommending the following titles to her, I decided you all might find some use for them too.
SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
and
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller, Molly Devon

Personality Disorder Test redeux

Aaahhh. Some things change and others just do not. I am full swing into a very social week. Tonight I ran into a very old friend who told Me that he had read all the blog archives. His only comment was about the personality disorder test results that I posted about 2 years ago. He managed to somehow come up low on every disorder. Either he is exceptionally well-adjusted OR he is just a clever test taker. I retook the test. My primary disorders are still in full bloom, but the intermediate ones seem to have cooled down a bit. Current results as follows:

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Very High
Narcissistic:	Very High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Old results here

Cheesecake, no really the dessert, not pinups!

So this post is not BDSM related, so if that is your only interest, feel free to check back another time. However I don't think anyone would deny that a really good dessert is very sexy. So, I present to you my latest freelance graphic design project, a flyer (that is now their home page) for Coney Island Sweets' Cheesecakes. I'm so proud, this project was entirely my baby, I wrote the text, took the photos and did the layout. I am fully aware that some of the text is way over the top, but come on, we are talking about cheesecake! Only creme brulee and some massively dense chocolate creation are more decadent.

Back at the Dungeon

My mood is so terrific! Perhaps I am just easily amused. I'm spending the evening answering the phones over at Arena because the phone girl called out sick. I spent a bit of time in Mia's session. I've never actually observed her in role or played with her before and I must admit she is phenomenal! When I asked her client to perform for us, he confessed the story of his first orgasm/fantasy and discovery "of his sexuality" all wrapped up into one. When he was about fourteen, he tied his shoes to his cock and rolled back and forth on the floor, the weight of the shoes tugging his cock from side to side as he bucked his hips and imagined beautiful women laughing at the spectacle he had created. Of course we forced him to re-enact and finally realize this pivotal moment. Unfortunately his cock bondage skills seemed to have waned during the intervening years, so this little show was rather short.

In Short: Sexy pirate plays pool and sees nature

Sorry for the silence, My darling cube has been misbehaving and totally uncooperative. I think that issue is now resolved. I had a great relaxing time in SLC. We bought membership to a couple of bars, but our local watering hole quickly became Cheers To You. I don't know who the guys on the site are with the tie & bow-tie, every bartender we met there was much more casual. The guys were so nice and knew us by name less than an hour after we got there. We played pool, drank beer and made friends with the locals. One sweetheart gave us our own personal tour of SLC including climbing Pete's Rock, lunch at Ruth's Diner and snowballs up at Solitude.

I had a very busy Halloween. I took the awesome kids trick or treating in SoHo with the Children's Museum of the Arts dressed as a witch in a long black velvet dress with a pointed hat. For the evening's adventures I switched to thigh high leather boots, fishnets, leather mini, black corset, cream ruffled shirt and black eyepatch & bandana to become a very sexy pirate. I rode Abby's anniversary float in the west village Halloween parade, and then attended Evita's What Is Fetish? party over at Opaline. I received a niteflirt call as I was en route to the party and My client paid for the privilege of accompanying Me for the first half hour via My cell phone. I tucked it upside down in My cleavage and let him listen as I greeted friends and explored the party.

I have arrived, via Vegas though.

I missed My flight to Salt Lake City, but have no fear, it isn't like I just went home, not Me...I went to Vegas! I spent 8 hours in various casinos as well as all of My spending money for Salt Lake! Of course! I had a great time though and had those kind of magical adventures that always seem to happen to Me. These mountains are gorgeous! Two other times I have been confronted with startling natural beauty and could only describe it in terms of magnificent man-made creations. The first was My freshman year of college when I looked up at the night Vermont sky and said aloud, "It's just like the Hayden Planetarium!" Or, a year later, I was living in Hawaii and the combination of lush jungle and barren volcano rock seemed like Epcot or something from a theme park.

Outlaw Sex Temple

I totally forgot to mention that this evening, I will be attending the Outlaw Sex Temple. I caught a preview of one of the performances when they were rehearsing over at the studio the other night and I have one word for you: H-O-T! Leda put this night together and everyone knows that woman can throw a party.

I Want. I Want. I Want.

Earlier this evening I stumpled upon an item that I want so badly you can not possibly imagine. THE BLACK IPOD. The client I saw tonight promised it to Me. We'll see if he comes through. He actually seemed to think he could get one before the official November 22nd release. As previously stated, we shall see. The other material item I am currently salivating over and most likely going to purchase this afternoon, is My very first pair of Gucci heels. They are amazing. Think black leather clog, Gucci buckle and 5 inch wooden stilletto heels. I am being reasonable about this. I tried them on last Sunday. I didn't buy them that day because a-they are $150 (fuck you, that is a bargain, we are talking genuine Gucci!) b-they are actually half a size too small. They feel fine on, however my heel hangs over the edge just the tiniest bit. So, if Gabay's hasn't already sold them to some other shoe/label whore, they will be MINE!

Mormons and homeless cats

Of course I do have a bit of trepidation about being surrounded by Mormons. I feel pretty confident that I will stand out. Between My Jewish horns and the brand on My forehead that reads "Agnostic Heathen"....but really, religious repression just breeds kink, right? So maybe I'll do some sessions while I'm out there.

On another front, a phone client requested a task from Me. I told him to go to a shelter, rescue a cat and devote himself to caring for her as he wishes to care for Me. On one hand, I may have just helped save a cat's life. On the other hand, what if his obsession with Me dwindles and this poor cat is stuck in an unloving home?

Invading Mormon Territory

I suppose the most exciting thing going on right now, is that I am invading Mormon territory next weekend. Yes, you interpreted that correctly, I'm going to Salt Lake City, Utah. Random destination, you say? yes, very. A friend from high school is going out there on business for a conference and has invited Me along to partake in the ever popular luxury hotel suite paid for by work. What will I do while I'm out there? Fuck if I know, but getting out of NYC for a few days sounds terrific, I've never been there before and why not?

The BEST rant ever re: Aunt Flo

OK, I'm lifting this link from Mistress Matisse's Journal. I could not resist sharing this hysterical rant on that time of the month. For the record, if any of you care, I use tampons, ob, always have. Since My very first period. Have I ventured into way too much info land? Sorry. Heh.

Back to Basics

Tonight I'll be attending Evita's Back to Basics party at Arena. It has been a very long time since I last attended a play party. So long in fact I think it was before Elle retired. She was My best friend and partner in crime back then. She is now however, corporate, married, pregnant, shopping at Nordstrom's and an entirely different entity.

BDSM gets political, well not really.

So this is what it is like to have a social life! I've been so busy I haven't updated in nearly a week. Much has and will be happening. Let's see, I saw My first (I think) blog inspired client. He was a novice and after reading Brain Bleed, decided to see Me for his first session. Honestly it was terrific. I had gone into My consult with him with just the vaguest indication of his interests from the phone girl: wrestling and foot worship. We chatted for a bit and he suggested a RNC themed role-play. He would be a delegate named Jimmy Bob, a god-fearing Christian hardware store owner who thought he had booked an appointment with a prostitute, but as he put it, "would instead get the tables turned on him." I had so much fun with this session! My only wish was that I had known beforehand so I could have prepped with some politcal knowledge, since I am sinfully ignorant in that area. Even without my shoes I towered over him and I worked female supremacy, overpowerment, blackmail, humiliation and conspiracy into our play. I love a creative role-play and I think we both really got into this one. It actually reminded Me of a link I received via the NYC-g33ks mailing list.

Last night I stopped at the shop to pick up lizard food and went into Doc Holliday's, I thought, just to use the bathroom. I ended up drinking through closing and going over to an old co-worker's place to watch Kill Bill volumes 1 and 2 consecutively. It was so great to a-finally see those flicks, b-see them back to back (all those poor people who ran to the theater and the had to wait for the second one to get released!) c-see them with someone who also had somehow mangaed not to see them yet.

As a random aside, can I not set foot in an East Village bar without running into another Pro-Domme? Yesterday I met Gisselle and tonight I ran into Harlequinn. I suppose it is another one of those thematic things and as I plan to attend at least three fetish related events before the end of the month, I'm sure I'll be seeing many more. I'll plug those events later this week, I can't be bothered to hunt up their links just now.

Oh yeah, I'm "original/quality" according to Jane's guide! I'm so flattered!

Caution Required for My Vanilla Friends....

OK, is there a post about Me on Max Fisch that I don't know about? Serendipitously, as I am newly available for sessions again, my appointments have skyrocketed! Maybe the phone girls are selling Me more? But at least three of My clients this week specifically requested Me. Hooray! It is great to be back in the saddle again. I had a session the other night with a client i have written about before, Lollypop Boy. We've known eachother a long time and I have definitely expanded his boundaries more than once. However this last session, we actually did something I had never done before. (Imagine that!)The following will be a graphic description of our session toghter, so Vanilla Friends, exit now, before I've scarred you for life. Lollypop Boy has done crossdressing, humiliation, anal and ass/foot/leg worship scenes with me for a long time. I'm pretty sure that I have used a strap-on on him previously, but I honestly don't remember. I know for certain I've had him worship (ie: kiss, lick and suck) dildos previously, and for all the things I've stuck up his ass, I really don't remember actually fucking him with a strap-on. The dungeon is definitely a place to learn new things. I've used strap-ons before, but for some bizarre reason I never realized you could have anal sex facing each other. With boyfriends I had always received it doggy style and I brought that experience into the dungeon with Me. Our session began with him excitedly showing Me what he had brought for Me. A Diet Pepsi (my beverage of choice, so it was a thoughful gesture and he apologized for not remembering what brand of cigarettes I smoked and promised Me a pack of Camel Lights for next time), a single red rose, several large bananas, a small package of Ferro Rocher Chocolates and as I discovered later, after he had left, a package of Breath Savers. Was that for Me too? I admit I was slightly taken aback by the chocolates. As delicious as they are, with their bumpy brown exterior and his propensity for ass play, I momentarily feared that he was going to ask me to simulate some kind of scat scene. But he had no requests of that nature, only to be taken anally (sp?) by Me. I strapped on a black latex dildo, in consideration of the fact that this might be his first ass fucking with something that wasn't food related, I chose a smaller one. We spent some time with him adoringly watching Me eat one of the chocolates and a banana. When I walked out of the room to find an unlubricated condom for him to suck My strap-on, we played a game I've used for years when I need to momentarily leave a session. I tell My client to come up with five adjectives to describe Me and three to describe themselves. It is always interesting to see which words they use after the obligatory beautiful/sexy/gorgeous etc. Unfortunately I can't recall which words he chose the other day. Forgive Me if I rush the story along a bit now, but I am getting sleepy. Once I had positioned him on the floor, vulnerable and exposed with his legs bent and spread, I pulled on a pair of latex gloves, lubed up a couple of fingers and went exploring. I curled My fingers toward his stomach while they were inside him and massaged what I believe was his prostate. I've always found it amusing that the pad of flesh inside a man's ass that will make him writhe when stimulated is basically in the same location the g-spot supposedly is in women. Once I had loosened him up a bit, I put his ankles by My shoulders and entered him. I started gently and slow. I began fucking him harder with little endearing epithets. "I'm fucking you like a bitch, Aren't I? Are you My bitch?" "Yes I am your Bitch, Octavia. I am Octavia's Bitch." "Yes slut, you are My bitch." As I was pumping away at him, it occurred to Me that I was beginning to work up a sweat. Why was I working so hard? I then said, "Slut, it is time to change positions. I am going to lay down and you are going to ride My cock like the filthy slut you are. You had better not let it slip out while we move, or I will really punish you." And so I found myself laying on the floor of the dungeon with My hands behind My head and Lollypop Boy bouncing on My latex cock. It was a revelation. No wonder guys always want women on top! There was practically no effort required on My side from that position. What had started to become grueling work, became effortless.

File Under: Only Me....

SO this afternoon I was running errands in midtown when I did something that is totally typical for Me, but probably unheard of for normal people. Don't get so excited. I didn't say it was perverted! SO I am walking past some major transportation hub (I think Port Authority, but I can't remember) and I see a cop with a german shepard. As I always do, I approach the cop, gestured to the pup and said, "Hi, I know he is working, but can I give him some love?" And as usual, the cop says "Go ahead." I extend My hand palm up to introduce Myself to the dog and his huge wet nose pushes around My palm. Once he has given Me a decent sniff, I give him a scratch behind the ears and along his neck. As many dogs do, he continues sniffing Me as I pet him and chat with his owner/partner. As the shepard is strongly and continuosly sniffing up and down the pant leg of My jeans, it dawns on Me that the last time I wore these jeans I was sitting on a friend's bed watching her snort lines of coke. Those of you who know Me, know that I don't do anything that goes up My nose or in My veins (yeah yeah, I know that leaves crack smoking wide open). However the jeans that I was wearing had just recently been in very close promixity to some cocaine. I had the mildest flutter of panic. Maybe some fell on the bed and ground into My jeans. Maybe the dog was only trained to sniff for bombs, not drugs at all. I have no idea, but I quickly said, "Gotta go." to the cop and "Bye cutie." to the dog. And walked away thinking, "Damn I am a dumbass. Note to self: in the future, do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT approach potential drug sniffing dogs when your clothing may have trace amounts of illegal substances on them."

The Panty Fetishist

The Panty Fetishist has a few breeds, the guy who likes to see you in sexy panties, the guy who steals your panties, the sniffer, the wearer and the masturbator. Obviously there's some cross-pollination. Tonight I saw a guy who likes to see, wear and share. Basically he wanted to see My sexy panties on My ass and once he had gotten a good look, I excused Myself to change My panties and emerged to give him the pair I had been wearing which he promptly put on himself. Since I a-have no intention of putting that pair on again once they've been on him b-I just bought them less than a week ago and lastly c-I'm sure keeping them was an extra special treat, I allowed him to keep them for an extra $40 tribute.

Kids say the darndest, part seven million and one

SO I have returned to being a personal assistant along with some light nanny duties. Yesterday the father related a moment he had with his 8 year old daughter. They were on their way to school and his shirt was unbuttoned, exposing quite a bit of chest hair. The girl says, "Daddy, you are very hairy!" and apropos of nothing in particular, "When I grow up, I'm going to shave my vagina. H [an older female family friend that recently took the girl swimming and probably changed in front of her in the dressing room] shaves her vagina!" His wife and I nearly fell off the couch laughing when he told us this story. His reply to these two shocking announcements was along the lines of waaaaaaaaay too much information, thanks.

My YK mitzvah and the walk home

Wow, where to begin. Let's see, the cousin that promised to loan me a significant chunk of cash, played phone tag with Me all week. I finally caught up with him at Yom Kippor dinner on friday night where he confessed that he could only front Me a quarter of the amount he had offered. Some help is better than none and while I am grateful for it, I wish he had been up front with me sooner. Saturday I saw two fun and easy clients. Both were primarily about foot worship. Around noon on saturday I saw a 75 year old grandpa who primarily spent our time together chatting while he cuddled my legs and occassionally kissed My calves. He was very sweet and when we discussed that it was Yom Kippor, he told Me that allowing him to worship My legs was certainly a mitzvah! Later that afternoon I saw another client who was also enamored of My legs and soles but from a totally different point of view. His session included humiliation along with spitting and golden showers. So while earlier I had gently and nearly lovingly discussed why worshipping My legs was such an honor, it became a humilating punishment for a (requested script) "dirty, pathetic and insignificant, pencil-dicked loser." Among his more amusing moments was when he asked if I would spit in his mouth after I had pissed on him, so he could have my saliva for dessert, because it is so sweet! Saturday night I went drinking and dancing in Williamsburg to celebrate Lisa's B-day. Had fun, even though portions of the night were spent in car service cars heading to bars that we only knew vaguely where they were located. I finished off the night with My friend J over at the Lucky cat where he was barbacking. We then decided to hang outabout halfway over the Williamsburg Bridge. For all the years I've lived on the LES, I'd never actually walked the bridge. Count on Me to make it memorable. My heels were killing Me, so I actually walked the length of the bridge barefoot! It was a very wobbly walk as I had multiple Vodka cranberries before that last beer.

No really, Moldy Peaches is playing for Accidental!

OK, time and date are set: Thursday October 14th, 8pm in BROOKLYN at The Hook. Tix are $10 and go toward paying C's rent.

Moldy Peaches saves Accidental CDs

So, here's some breaking news for the indie rock world. Moldy Peaches will be reuniting to do a benefit show for the shop. Wow. From what I understand they have been "on hiatus" for two years. Besides being local, and loving the shop (like everyone). C and the shop have a legendary special place in Adam Greene and Kimya Dawson's hearts. The way the story that he tells goes, way back in time before MP2K were even signed, we used to play their CD is the store all the time. We were selling burns that Adam made of their songs on consignment. And in that typical NYC is such a small town, one of our regular customers, Eric (who now owns Lit) was then a bartender at Bowery Ballroom. He walked in one night while the disc was on, asked, "Who is this? they're great!" C told him about them and he told C to tell them to drop a disc over at Mercury Lounge with the booking agent. C passed the message onto Adam and in the way that history is made, he ran a disc over and within a short time, they were booked to play with another local band that had their own buzz: the Strokes. I don't remember the rest of the story, how they hooked up with the Strokes' manager, but I think it was the beginning of the road that ended up with them signed to Rough Trade. We've always been amazed at how well known they've become. Over the last few years, we've had many new staff members (thanks to the no-longer-free craigslist job listings) who arrived at the shop already a Moldy Peaches fan.

Yes I left, but I still have a special place in My heart for that insane spot. C'mon, I spent practically every waking moment (and plenty of sleeping ones) there for the last five years. Hopefully this benefit will produce the boost that C needs to keep the store open. As soon as I know for sure the date and place (even though I am not sure how welcome I'll be there) I'll let you know.

Five Years = Three Bullet Points?

Today's big accomplishments included 60 pounds of laundry, a first draft of My resume and a drink with Dana. I also weighed Myself and have now officially lost 46 pounds. It has been a full decade since I last put together a resume. How precisely does one distill five years of one's life into three bullet points? I have a client tentatively scheduled for tomorrow night, so hopefully I'll have something a touch more titillating than laundry and resumes tomorrow.

Goodbye cricket experiment!

The cleansing of My apt has begun! No, I haven't thrown everything of his out of the window or started putting the THOUSANDS of CDs, DVDs and videos that have taken over My home on eBay. I'm not that much of a cunt...yet. I did remove his "ecological experiment." You see while we kept both of our aptartments, we primarily lived in Mine, so our pets (the lovely feline Sela and his bearded dragon Bob) live here. Bob is now nearly exclusively vegetarian, living on organic sunflower sprouts from the farmer's market, but he used to eat crickets. Live ones. In unbelievable quantities, sometimes a hundred a day. So we ordered them on the internet for 1.5 cents each rather than buying them at the pet shop for 8 cents each. That meant ordering them by the thousand and having two tanks in rotation. When Bob stopped eating crickets a few months ago, C stopped cleaning out the cricket tanks. He then watched with excitement as they rotted and new lifeforms emerged. Both tanks are now empty and washed. I also cleaned Bob's tank. He hasn't been handled much in the last few months and would not under any circumstances allow Me to pick him up. Those spikes become sharp when he is puffed up!

As I am now obviously looking for work, I expect I will be Domming more frequently and will have more sexy stories for you all.

I walked out...

Yesterday afternoon I packed up My computer and left the shop & C. I guess I am no longer a record shop girl by day. I have ended a five year relationship, really My first adult relationship. I'm probably still in shock that I did it, but it has been a long time coming and even though I have not yet made ANY of the major decisions that need to be made (as far as how I plan to support Myself, pay My mortgage and rent and other such reality checks) I feel that I have made the correct decision.

Now, Let's Talk about Me!

I'll call them "Celebrity Mistress Stalkers" cms for short. These are clients I've encountered, particularly via keen, but in house and (even worse) in real life, who speak or session with Me for the express purpose of pumping me for information about another Mistress. Are they joking? Why would I want to engage in a conversation about how wonderful/cruel/dominant another Mistress is? Do they not realize that this is beyond boring for Me? Arena is a large dungeon with something like 20 Dommes. As I no longer work shifts there and only come in for clients, it isn't like the old days when I lounged around all day there, getting to know My coworkers. There are easily half a dozen women working there that I've never even met! The cms comes in several varieties, the first and most common is the worshipper from afar. This guy has never had a session with the Mistress of his dreams, possibly hasn't ever even seen a pro-Domme. He wants to chat about what Mistress So and So will do to him in session. How the fuck should I know?!? I've never been submissive to Her! Sometimes I've done double sessions with the Domme in question and if I am feeling generous, I'll tell him a bit about her style. But for the most part, I'm mildly offended. Shouldn't you be calling to chat with Me about what I might do to you in session?

the RNC & Me

I'm still alive. I know a few of you were wondering. I've spent the last few months cocooned in the shop nearly (and sometimes literally) night and day. All week I've been asked if I'm going to the protests. Nope, I'll be at the shop. We've been doing a brisk trade in anti-bush t-shirts. The forementioned Only God Can Judge Me Thug Life and the slashed circle across George's face are our best sellers. Last night one of our staff members combined her exhibitionism with her ideals and a touch of capitalism. She worked the bulk of her shift dressed as follows:

Across her back, C wrote "Anti Bush t-shirts $15 plus tax." Her thug style tattoo reads "IDEALIST" The stickers read "Attention Republicans: Go Fuck Yourselves" they are promoting a song by The Greys and we've given away hundreds of them. Thanks to Thomas and his amazing fotolog for the image.

Which is more terrifying? A naked blue Japanese child in your peripheral vision OR a Japanese home strewn with garbage?

Has anyone either read far enough back or been reading this blog long enough to know about My favorite NYC film festival? That's right kids, it is time for Subway Cinema's annual New York Asian Film Fest. how great is the flyer?

I was slightly dissappointed to see that there were no Takashi Miike flicks this year. So far we've seen: Legend of Evil Lake, Zatoichi 3, Juon and Juon2. This was the second time we saw Juon, last year some time it was up at Lincoln Center, but it was just as scary the second time! Perhaps even more frightening, is that the american remake is already in post-production starring starring Sarah Michelle Gellar! As we exited the theater C overheard someone explaining to his companions that it was actually the messy house that really scared Japanese audiences.

Flicks I am particularly looking forward to are: Vibrator, Antenna, Azumi and Doppelganger. When I playfully bitched at one of the organizers about the fact that they don't sell full festival passes and that they had better start meeting My needs by next year, he told us that unless they find a corporate sponsor, there might not be one next year. It is terrifically expensive getting these films over here to be shown. So if you have the corporate strings to pull...even if you don't, COME CHECK IT OUT!!!

Today's post is brought to you by the letter E

So, the last few days I've been working with Tom. He is one of My favorite people to be at the shop with. See a very early post here. Anyway, I asked him to guest blog for Me yesterday, but he said no. Luckily, his entry today is all about his shift last night. So in a totally lazy move, I will now co-opt his entire post before he edits it!

Oh Boy

I'm not sure what's worse: the belligerent, drunk, incoherent, paranoid, accusatory, schizophrenic, Tourettes' bum; or the overly friendly, generous, supportive, paternal, homeless man.

Hanging out on Avenue A at 5 a.m., working at the world's only 24-hour record store/hangout for the unemployable, I'm more than used to dealing with the former. They come in with garbage they've found somewhere and try to hock it to us before they pass out in Tompkins Square Park across the street. Usually a simple menacingly glare and a 'No Thank You" will shoo them away easily enough before they start screaming at me.

This older guy came in with a stack of maybe 50 LPs and 45s in his grocery cart early this morning. The records were all in terrible condition, scratched, wet and torn, but he had some awesome titles. A lot of them were 1960s South American mambo and garage rock albums. The coolest featured some kind of Latin Sammy Davis Jr. in a gay pirate costume on the cover. The artwork alone was worth picking them up for a look. The owner of the store took a little time to examine the records to see if any were worth buying for the store.

In the meanwhile, the homeless guy started talking to me. He asked where I'm from and if the traffic there was as bad as it is in New York. Then asked me what famous people are from Baltimore (he knew Johnny Unitas, but not Cal Ripken).

"Well, you can be a famous person from Baltimore," he said.

"I'm working on it," I said and smiled.

"Good, what do you do?" he asked.

"I write," I replied.

"Fiction or nonfiction," the 56-year-old gentleman asked politely.

"Mainly nonfiction," I said.

"Do you have anything written or published?" he queried.

"I've had stories in some newspapers and magazines," I said, surprised by his inquisitiveness.

"Do you have anything with you? I'd like to read it," he said.

I told him that I didn't have any of my clips on me.

"Well, bring some here. I'll stop by again and see if you left anything for me," he told me. "You're gonna make it. If you try, you can accomplish anything."

By this point, the owner had gone through the albums and determined that only a handful were sellable. The man gave the owner the whole pile rather than carry them around. He just wanted them to have a good home, he said.

As he walked away, he pulled something out of his cart and handed it to me.

"Here's a present for you," he said.

The eternal optimist shoved a red, Tickle Me Elmo doll in my hand. Both the owner and I were completely baffled by the gesture.

"No thanks, that's very nice of you, but you keep it," I said.

"No. I'm going to go sleep in the park," he told me with a smile. "It makes too much noise."

Then he grabbed his cart and ambled across the street. I pressed the stomach of the damp Elmo doll. It began to giggle maniacally.

"Oh boy!" Elmo laughed. "That tickles."

I gave the owner the doll for the store, and he set it out to dry when the sun came up. I couldn't tell if the old man was the nicest person I've met in New York, the craziest or the funniest.

About an hour later, as the sun was coming up, one of the balding, cackling, nonsense-talking homeless guys came running down the sidewalk. He picked up the Elmo doll and a look of sheer joy crossed his face.

"That's ours," the owner of the store said. "That's not trash."

The guy held up the Elmo doll and squeezed it in his outstretched hands, smiled and laughed. "Tickle Me Elmo!" he giggled before setting it down and running off.

I had know idea that a child's toy could make grown men so happy. Are they showing Sesame Street in flophouses now? Now I'm going to have to start bringing the friendly homeless man my clips. At least my mom won't be the only one excited about them.

Cheers.

Perhaps I am going overboard being so self-referential today, but now that you have read his take on the homeless men and their treasure/trash, here's what I had to say about it.

Lola and the belated Ronald Reagan obituary link

As you may or may not know, My friendster profile reads, "I live with a cat named Sela, a bearded dragon named Bob and an obsessive-compulsive packrat." You might think that was enough in the pet department, however...

Lately one of our employees has been letting us dogsit her absolutely amazing one year old french bulldog. I am fully aware that websites and blogs devoted to how adorable one's pet(s) are, is beyond passe. However this animal has utterly stolen My heart.

Her name is Lola. No she wasn't a showgirl, nor does she walk like a woman and talk like man.

I know everyone is completely Reaganed out by now, but I've been meaning to link to this since I first saw it. Call Me completely gullible if you will, but as much as I was surprised, I was actually taken in by the first few paragraphs.

My Smoking Fetish/Addiction

I know it has been too long. I suppose I am just beginning to emerge from a major depressive cocoon. They upped My meds, I've lost 20 lbs on Jenny Craig and summer has finally arrived, so I am back, again. Amusing thoughts that I meant to blog about...Is there a fetish for stutterers? A friend was searching for one and said maybe he should have googled (I know, I know, it is something like kleenex for tissues or xerox for photocopy) st-t-t-utt-t-t-er-ers. I am a total nicotine addict. I love to smoke. C however wishes for Me to live a long healthy life without the eventual aid of a respirator, so his campaign for Me to quit continues. Most recently I was busted breaking our current agreement not to buy My own packs. He came home and found Me asleep on the bed with a nearly full pack beside Me. He ripped the pack in half. Junky that I am, the next day I assembled a smokable cigarette by using My endless supply of nicotine patches to hold the filter onto the rest of the cigarette! At the time I realized how absurd what I was doing might seem, even as it made perfect sense to Me. I've also found that the plastic tray that houses the patches doubles wonderfully as an ashtray.

My entry for the Encyclopedia of Sex... spitroast

Earlier today I discovered the Encyclopedia of Sex via a link on Dana's blog. Later in the day I received an email from the site's creator asking for help. Did he email everyone in the blogosphere? or just My friends? Regardless, I came up with a submission of My own, but couldn't login. So, for your entertainment and enlightenment, I present My pilfered definition of spitroast: whereby one male will penetrate a female (or male) in the mouth and another man will enter the vagina or anus of the orally penetrated person. If the receptive partner is on their hands and knees, this is also called a wobbly H.

The above definition is lifted from The Free Dictionary under "Multiple Penetration"

As I might use it in a sentence, "You little pussy faced bitch! If I have to tell you to get your hands away from your cock one more time, I'll have you spitroasted tonight!"

I must add that I have only learned this term Myself in the last 2 or 3 years when an Aussie friend of mine came back from a night of drinking after playing netball. One of the other girls on her team told them all a debauched story about being spitroasted by her boyfriend and a friend of his. My friend immediately related this tale to all of our friends over brunch the next morning, asking if any of us were familiar with the term.

Sexy BDSM chats at 99 cents a minute and RATS!

I did a little experiment with My niteflirt listings and for about two days, made all of them 99 cents per minute as opposed to My regular $2.99. It was an effort to bolster ratings on My new listings and see if the frequency of calls would make up for the per minute decrease in earnings. This experiment failed miserably. I did get many more calls, but the bulk of them lasted under 5 minutes. Few of them left ratings and My regulars called for approximately the same amount of time they usually did when I charged triple the price.

I am currently reading Rats: Observations on the History and Habitat of the City's Most Unwanted Inhabitants by Robert Sullivan. I love anything to do with old New York and though his study took place recently there are many anecdotes ala Low Life. I’m up to the part about Kit Burns.

Drunk at Ground Zero

I had an excellent low-key b-day. One of My childhood friends who I rarely see has intinctively called Me on My actual birthday the last three years. Each time she thinks the actual date is later in the month. We had dinner together and a major catch-up session. Thursday J picked Me up at the shop and we headed over to the kitting factory for the New Model Army show. He's only 23 and is very much a disgruntled youth. Hanging out with him reminds Me so much of high school. We picked up a small bottle of vodka and a bottle of orange juice, mixed them and strolled over to the show drinking our "cocktail." We got there an hour after the doors opened but still an hour before NMA went on, so we started wandering aroung tribeca. We ended up at Ground Zero. Drunk and laughing hysterically, I think we may have upset some late night tourists. This was the first time I actually went close enough to look at the site. It has been so long that I wasn't upset by it at all, just sorta bewildered at the sheer amount of open space and the personal landmarks that are no longer there. We stood against the fence and I said stuff like, "the Borders was just about there, and the stairs were over there...." I had such a great time at the show. There are so few bands that I still care about.

The Ball is coming up quickly and I still haven't figured out what I'm going to wear. C has randomly obtained a black woman's braided wig and it has become the basis of his Rick James costume. See the cover of Street Songs:
Along with some of My pvc gear and a little black face...

It's My birthday!

Twenty-nine years ago today I exited My mother's womb approximately seven weeks early (probably the last time I was early for anything!). My day began with a wake-up kiss, chocolate truffles and flowers from C. He came home for a snuggle before I left for the shop. Typically he shaves his head and beard for My birthday (the guy I started dating had a shaved head and a goatee, not this fluffy bearded shaggy headed homeless looking dude he becomes every winter). This morning the fluff was still there, so I'm hoping it will be gone by tonight. The b-day calls have been coming all morning. Everyone is asking what I'm doing to celebrate. I don't really have anything planned other than going to see New Model Army play thursday night at the Knitting Factory. I was once a rabid NMA fan and they put on a great show, so I'm really looking forward to it. I put out an email reminding My regular clients that today was My birthday and called for all "slaves, panty bitches and pain sluts" to pay tribute to Me by hitting My Amazon wishlist.

My birthday, the fountain of youth and the cocksuckers

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Yes, I am a Dominatrix.

Theme number two is the Real Me versus Octavia. It typically comes up now and then, however recently it has become a near daily occurence. While explaining My phone sessions to a new member of the shop's staff, he replied, "You're a Dominatrix?!?! But you're so nice!" During a phone session,"After reading your blog, I can't decide which relationship to persue with you...a completely debased and humiliated slave or friend." Why not both? I say. I received the sweetest note from another Domme in response to My newest ad on niteflirt, which contains a link to the blog with the proviso not to visit if you can't handle the idea that I am not in a corset and six-inch heels at all times.

I suppose it should be a valid question, which Me is really Me. However I know that one side just isn't quite right without the other. Ask anyone who knows Me IRL how much I needed the outlet BDSM play provides during the time I was "semiretired." Often, My intellect/ability to articulate Myself/or really I guess My personality receive complements while in role. What? Have they never met a Dominatrix who reads before? or laughs at something other than their pathetic penis size?

When it comes down to it, I am grateful to have both lives. Each enriches the other. Too much of any one thing is dangerous (slaves: the preceding comment does NOT apply to your addiction to Me. hehehehe ) When I took My fetish sabbatical back in '99, I was burnt out. There were many factors contributing to why or how I ended up sleeping, breathing, even at times eating ('member Nouvelle Justine?) fetish. I was sleeping at the dungeon while I was between apts and working as a personal assistant for one of Arena's owners. So I slept at the studio, did sessions at night and spent My days coordinating the print and web advertising for (as I often affectionately referred to My co-workers at that time) 20 Diva Bitches as well as tons of prep for our annual event: The Black and Blue Ball. Note: This year's is May 20th.

Prostitution, the **REAL**Me, and the OED

Ever notice how life can be incredibly thematic sometimes? Over the past two weeks, two topics have popped up repeatedly: prostitution and the real Me versus Octavia. Of course the hooker thing is always somewhere in My brain as I read Belle's & Laura's blogs regularly. But I was at Barnes & Noble and I began reading Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl by Tracy Quan (yes, I am one of thosepeople who pretend B&N is a library rather than a retail shop). The next day I heard from both of My friends who are actually NYC working girls. One of them I hadn't spoken with in nearly five years! Even though I do not engage in traditional sex acts with My clients, I consider Myself a sex worker. Any Domme that claims session is not a sexual act is very much in denial. To continue with how the forces of the universe are conspiring to make Me think about call girls, I received an invitation to the PONY fundraiser this weekend, the same day I discovered the erotic services board on craigslist! The most interesting post I found was the one that defined the terminology. I will repost it here, since CL posts evenutally dissappear.:

EROTIC DICTIONARY

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: anon-29595409@craigslist.org
Date: 2004-04-24, 11:07PM EDT


Agency: An organization or individual that manages many providers. The agency handles all calls, bookings and advertising. The agency takes a percentage of the fee for each session.

All-inclusive: All services are included under one flat fee, no upselling, or hidden charges.

Angel/Feathers: Angel dust

Caveat: May also be used in ads to imply full service, as a bait-n-switch tactic, not a reliable indication of actual services provided.

Amazon: A tall, strong, often masculine woman.

AMP: Asian Massage Parlor

Around the world : Analingus and Fellatio.

Asian: Analingus , erotic stimulation achieved by contact between mouth and anus

Asian Cowgirl: Woman rides on top during intercourse, squatting over the man on her feet, not on her knees.

ASP : 1. alt.sex.prostitution: an unmoderated discussion forum (Usenet newsgroup) for prostitution and related topics. The acronym (ASP) is traditionally placed in the subject line of a post to be able to filter out spam. 2. Adult Service Provider

ATM : Ass to mouth. Penis, finger or toy comes out of her ass, and goes directly into her mouth.

Attempts : Trying to reach orgasm. e.g. She allowed multiple attempts: means she allows more than one orgasm per session if the client is able and interested.

ATF : All Time Favorite

Aunt Flo : Menstruation also; Period

B&S: Bait & switch: Internet, newspaper, or phone advertisements, which may include photos, written or verbal descriptions, do not match the woman who shows up, or she has been grossly misrepresented.

Babyback : Petite, young, attractive Asian woman.

Bag: Condom, with a condom e.g. "BJ in a bag"= CBJ,
"I filled the bag"= Orgasm.

Bait and Switch: Bait & switch: Internet, newspaper, or phone advertisements, which may include photos, written or verbal descriptions, do not match the woman who shows up, or she has been grossly misrepresented.

Baja Sur : Genitals. From the spanish "the low south".

Balloons : Breast implants.

Bareback : Without a condom.

BBBJ : Bareback Blow Job, oral stimulation of the penis without a condom

BBBJTC: Bareback Blow Job To Completion, oral stimulation of the penis to orgasm without a condom. (May spit or swallow)

BBW : Big Beautiful Woman, euphemism for overweight

BCD : Behind Closed Doors

BDSM : Bondage, Discipline, Sado-Masochism. This is a catch-all to refer to the various aspects of negotiated, mutually consensual exchange of power between two consenting adults. Regardless of the depth of the relationship, consent, safety and sanity are the cornerstone of the lifestyle.

Beret : A condom.

BF : Boyfriend

BFE : Boyfriend Experience, A subjective term used primarily by providers to describe good clients.

Birdwatching : BBBJTC and she swallows.

Blackhole: Anus.

BLS : Ball licking and sucking.

Blue Pill : Viagra

Blue Steel : Viagra

Brown Shower: Defecation on your partner. Being shit on or To Shit on.

BS : Body slide. Service where woman may slide her body on yours using oil.

Butter face : A women whose body is very attractive, but her face is not.

Call Girl : Outcall provider, usually implies agency.

Cash and Dash: A rip-off. She shows up, takes your money, doesn't provide, might offer to "dance", and leaves.

CBJ : CBJ, Covered Blow Job, fellatio with a condom

CC: 1. Roman Numeral for 200. Roman numerals sometimes used for fees. (Roman Numeral converter) 2. Credit Card
CC Rider : A provider who is FS for $200/hr or less.

CD : Cross-dresser: transvestite, a person, and especially a male who adopts the dress and often the behavior typical of the opposite sex especially for purposes of emotional or sexual gratification

CFS : Covered Full Service

CG : 1. Cowgirl 2. Call Girl

CIM : Cum in mouth.

Civilian : A woman who makes herself available for sexual encounters but not for financial gain. May be less discreet than a provider and more interested in a relationship.

Clockwatcher: A term for a provider who counts the minutes until the session is over. Usually used to describe a provider who rushes and does not enjoy her work.

Collar and Cuffs match: Pubic hair matches natural hair-color (redheads, blondes)

Commercial Company : Prostitution

Completion : Orgasm. e.g. She gave a bareback blowjob to completion.

Cover : A condom

Covered: Various measures, such as the use of condoms or dental dams, are taken to avoid diseases (as AIDS) transmitted by sexual contact. (e.g. Covered Blow Job means a condom was used.)

Cowgirl : Woman rides on top, knees astride.

Crime scene action: Sexual activity during her period.

Cruising : Looking for prostitutes while driving.

Cups of coffee : Orgasms (e.g. multiple cups of coffee means she allows more than one orgasm)

Dance and Dash : A rip-off. She shows up, takes your money, doesn't provide, might offer to "dance", and leaves.

Date : 1. A session with a prostitute. 2. A man who patronizes prostitutes.

Date Rape : Date rape or acquaintance rape is a form of sexual assault that happens specifically on a date or by someone that the victim knows or is acquainted with somehow.

Date Rape Drug: Rohypnol (generic name flunitrazepam) has been associated with date rape, and has also been called the "Forget Pill," "Trip-and-Fall," and "Mind-Erasers." In combination with alcohol, it can induce a blackout with memory loss and a decrease in resistance. Girls and women around the country have reported being raped after being involuntarily sedated with Rohypnol, which was often slipped into their drink by an attacker. The drug has no taste or odor so the victims don't realize what is happening. About ten minutes after ingesting the drug, the woman may feel dizzy and disoriented, simultaneously too hot and too cold, or nauseated. She may experience difficulty speaking and moving, and then pass out. Such victims have no memories of what happened while under the drug's influence.

DATO : Dining at the O, Anilingus, oral stimulation of the anus

DATY : Dining at the Y, Cunnilingus, oral stimulation of the vulva or clitoris

DDE : Doesn't do extras.

DDG : Drop Dead Gorgeous.

Deep throat : Fellatio where the whole length of the penis is "swallowed"

Defender : A poster who defends or "comes to the rescue" of a provider who has been reviewed poorly, regardless of whether the review is accurate.

Delta Omega Gamma : DOG.

Deposit : A provider requires an upfront payment in advance of a session. Deposits are usually used by providers as a screening tool to hedge against no-shows.

DFK : Deep French Kissing, kissing with tongue

Digits: 1. Fingers (e.g I put four digits in her pussy) 2. Phone Number (Often used in strip club reviews, johns work to get "digits" in order to set up off-premises sessions.)

DILF: Dads I Like to FUCK

Doggie Style : Intercourse position where woman is on her hands and knees, man enters from behind

Donation : Payment to a provider

Doubles : A threesome with two providers

DP : 1. Double Penetration 2. Digital penetration

DT : Deep throat: fellatio where the whole length of the penis is "swallowed".

Ed Zachary disease : A woman with an unattractive face.

Ellie : LE, Law Enforcement

EOM : End of Message - Used in a subject line to indicate no further content in body of message,

Enhancements : Breast implants.

Envelope: Often cash payments for a provider are placed in an envelope. Rather than handing her cash directly, or discussing money, the envelope is left in a conspicuous location for the provider to pick up as she leaves (outcall), or after the hobbyist leaves (incall).

Escort: A woman who is paid for her companionship.

Face painting : Man ejaculates on woman's face.

Facial : Man ejaculates on woman's face.

FBSM : Full Body Sensual Massage; not usually full service; expect only massage (usually nude or topless) and handjob, but more services might be available.

Five-O: A police officer (uniformed or undercover).

FJ : Foot job. Stimulation of the penis using feet and toes.

Flake, Flaky: Errant behavior, often used for providers who no-show and/or have scheduling issues.

FOTC : Fuck of the century.

French: Oral sex, on either party

FS : Full Service, Vaginal intercourse to completion

Full meal deal : Full Service, Vaginal intercourse to completion

Get comfortable: Get naked. For security reasons, a provider may ask a client to "get comfortable" or "make yourself comfortable" before a session, this means to get fully undressed.

GFE : Girl Friend Experience, A subjective term, but usually used as praise for a very passionate, sensual, non-mechanical experience. Most consider deep french kissing a baseline requirement for GFE.

Glove: Condom

Golden Shower : Urinating on your partner, urine play.

Greek : Anal Sex

GS : Golden Shower, urinating on your partner, urine play.

Half and half : BJ followed by FS

Hand Job : Stimulation of the penis using hand and fingers

Hardwood floors : Clean-shaven pubic area.

Herb Friendly : Is amenable to marijuana use.

Hidden Charges : A provider takes the advertised fee upfront, but midway through the session she asks for more money for more services. (e.g. She might undress and give a massage for the advertised $$, but then ask for an additional $ for French, or $$ for FS, etc.)

Hindu Massage (Argentina) : The woman contracts her vaginal muscles during sex to squeeze you to completion.

HJ : Hand Job, stimulation of the penis using hand and fingers

HM : High mileage.

HME : Honeymoon experience. A subjective term used as praise for a very intense, very "real" session, usually DFK is a baseline requirement for HME.

HR : Hand Release, stimulation of the penis to orgasm using hand and fingers

Hobby, The: The patronizing of prostitutes.

Hobbyist : A man who patronizes prostitutes.

Honey Dust: Edible honey flavored powder for sexual enhancement.

Hooker : Prostitute.

Hostess Club : A lower end strip club where bargaining for sex acts with the dancers is acceptable, and some activities may occur on premises.

Hungarian : Bare back blowjob to completion and she swallows.

HWP : Height and Weight Proportional (i.e. "normal" build)

Incall : You go to her place (Could be hotel, motel, studio apt, her residence, or a mini-storage unit)

Independent, Indie : An escort who works on her own, without an agency affiliation. The escort manages her own calls, bookings, advertising and finances.

Interpreter : Condom (e.g. She spoke French without the aid of an interpreter = BBBJ)

IPO : Initial public offering: used to denote the public introduction of a new provider, usually via a review.

ISO : In search of

Italian : Similar to Russian, but penis between partners butt cheeks.

Jack Shack : Refers to an establishment (massage parlor, lingerie modelling) that is not usually full service; expect only massage (usually nude or topless) and handjob, but more services might be available.

JAG : John's Action Guide Review board, mostly east coast.

Jimmy Hat : A condom

John : A man who patronizes prostitutes.

Kama Sutra : The earliest and best known of Indian sex manuals, by Vatsayayana. It has been variously dated from 300 B.C. to 400 A.D.

L/A/S : Looks/Attitude/Service: A subjective ranking system. Each criteria separately ranked, from lowest (1) to highest (10). Examples: 2/9/8 = Unnattractive, but very friendly and good sex. 10/5/4 = Model material, but a poor attitude, and mediocre sex.

Landing Strip: Description of pubic hair

LE: Law Enforcement.

LFK: Light french kissing. (no heavy tongue)

Little blue helper: Viagra

Little blue pill: Viagra

LMP: Licensed Massage Practitioner

Lot Lizard: A prostitute that works primarily in truck stop parking lots (usually soliciting from a CB radio).

Madame : Proprietress of an agency.

Mall, Escort Mall : A website that advertises many different providers. The providers may be independent or agency, and may or may not be associated with each other, or with the mall.

Man in a boat, little man in a boat : Clitoris

Mediterranean : Anal sex e.g. "She took me on a trip to the mediterranean."

Menage a trois : An arrangement in which three persons (as a married pair and the lover of one of the pair) share sexual relations especially while living together

Merkin : Pubic hair wig.

MG : Massage Girl

Mileage : A subjective term that describes value for money and/or how accomodating she is. Good mileage usually means she either charges less than average, provides better L/A/S than average, or both.

MILF : Mom I'd like to fuck.

Mish : Missionary position, Man on top during intercourse

Missionary : Man on top during intercourse

MMF, MFM, MFF : Threesome designations. e.g. MMF = male, male, female MFF = male, female, female.

Mohawk : Description of pubic hair.

MP : 1. Massage Parlor 2. Multiple positions

MPA : Massage Parlor Attendant

MPCFS: Multiple positions covered full service

MPOS : Multiple positions oral sex.

MSOG : Multiple shots on goal: she allows you to have more than 1 orgasm during the session

Multiple Pops : She allows you to have more than 1 orgasm during the session (e.g. more than one or multiple pops allowed)

Newbie: A novice hobbyist or novice provider.

No-Show: Escort or Client never shows up for an appointment, does not contact in advance to cancel or warn.

No-Touch : No touching allowed. (e.g. No-touch Jack shack, no-touch strip club)

Nooner : A lunch-time or afternoon session, popular with married hobbyists.

NQBC : Non-quitter, but covered. CBJ to completion.

NQBS : Non-quitter, but spitter. BBBJTC and spits your ejaculate.

NQNS : Non-quitter, non-spitter. BBBJTC and swallows your ejaculate.

NSA : No Strings Attached. NO RELATIONSHIP!

O, Os: Orgasm, orgasms.

Off-the-clock : Activities that occur with a provider that she chooses not to charge for. (e.g. "We had lunch off-the-clock")

Operation Flea Collar : 2 year LE investigation of TBD board, culminating in June 2002 bust of Charles Kelly and Steve Lipson, owners and operators of TBD board.

Out, Outed : Private, personal information on a hobbyist or provider is made public. e.g. Someone's real name and address is posted to a public forum.

Outcall : She comes to your place

OWO : Oral Without, fellatio without a condom.

Party hat : Condom

Pearl Necklace : Man ejaculates on woman's neck and/or chest

Pimp : A man who solicits clients for a prostitute.

Pooner: A hobbyist who is immersed in the hobby culture. e.g. He may be very involved with the review boards and/or private exchange of information on providers and the hobby.

Pops, multiple : She allows you to have more than 1 orgasm during the session (e.g. more than one or multiple pops allowed)

POS : Pussy on the Side

Professional or Businessmen only : A subjective request used in provider advertising as a pre-screen for clients. The provider posts this in hopes of attracting "better" clientele.

Provider: Prostitute

PS: Private Show (Dance only)

PSE: Porn Star Experience, A subjective term, used as praise for a provider that might have a high energy level, a particularly hot look, or is very accomodating ("nastiness" factor).

PV : Private viewing: Dancing, modeling, perhaps a HJ; not usually FS.

Raincoat : Condom

REQ: Request: Used in the subject line of a post to indicate the body contains a request for information.

REV: Review: Used in the subject line of a post to indicate the body contains review of a provider.

Review : A critical evaluation of a provider. May include information on her looks, attitude and service.

Reverse Cowgirl : woman rides on top, facing away

Reverse massage : The client massages the provider.

Reverse Oral : The client performs oral sex on the provider.

Rimming, Rimjob : Analingus, erotic stimulation achieved by contact between mouth and anus

Russian : Penis between her breasts

Roman: sex play involving vomiting

Safe : Sexual activity in which various measures, such as the use of condoms or dental dams, are taken to avoid disease (as AIDS) transmitted by sexual contact. e.g. All activities were safe.

San Juan Capistrano : BBBJTC and she swallows.

Sandbag, Sandbagger : A subjective term for a review (or reviewer) that misleads the reader by giving unwarranted praise to a provider.

Sans : Without. e.g. She provided french sans beret = BBBJ

Scat : Defecation on your partner or feces play.

Screening : A provider or agency does a pre-session background check on a new client. e.g. collecting verifiable personal info such as the hobbyist's real name, place of employment, home or work phone, home or work address, or a referral from a trusted provider. Upfront deposits may also be used as a screening tool to hedge against no-shows.

Search Function : A software feature that allows a user to search a review board or forum, based on a keyword or words. Most often, this feature is used to find existing reviews of a provider, or to check the review history of a hobbyist.

Self-post : A provider or agency poses as a hobbyist, and posts a highly positive review of herself or agency to increase business.

Self-Service : Masturbation. e.g. "It was a self-service jack shack" = no contact with the dancer, but the man can masturbate.

Sensual Massage : Not usually full service; expect only massage (usually nude or topless) and handjob, but more services might be available.

Session : Paid time spent with a provider.

Sex Worker : Catch all phrase sometimes used to describe prostitutes. May also be used in the context of strippers, peep show workers, topless waitresses.

SFH : Sex for hire.
SG : Street girl.
Shemale : Transexual, particularly one who is living as a woman, but hasn't had SRS. Penis may or may not get erect.

Shill : A hobbyist who writes unwarranted positive reviews in exchange for discounts or special favors from an agency or provider.

Shots on goal : Attempts to reach orgasm. e.g. She allowed multiple shots on goal: means she allows more than one orgasm per session if the client is able and interested.

Sixty Nine, 69 : Partners perform oral sex on each other simultaeneously.

Slam, Slammed An unwarranted harsh review or abusive criticism of a provider.

Snowball, snowballing : Provider takes ejaculate in her mouth and returns it via kissing to the ejaculator.

SO : Significant other.

SOG : Shots on goal, attempts at orgasm.

Soixante neuf : 69: Partners perform oral sex on each other simultaeneously.

SOMF : Sat on my face.

South of the border : Genital region.

Southern France : Fellatio without a condom.

SP : Service Provider, prostitute.

Spanish (Australian) : Penis between her breasts, Russian.

Spanish (USA) : Penis, finger or toy comes out of her ass, and goes directly into her mouth.

Spinner : A very petite provider. Etymology: From the 1970's toy, "Sit 'n' Spin"

Squirting, Squirter : Female ejaculation, a provider who ejaculates

SRS : Sexual reassignment surgery

STD : Sexually transmitted disease.

Sting : A female police officer poses as a prostitute to apprehend unsuspecting johns, or a male police officer poses as a john to apprehend unsuspecting prostitutes.

Street action : Prostitution that is solicited on public streets. Prostitutes (usually on foot) are picked up by Johns in motor vehicles. Sexual acts may occur in the vehicle, or at another agreed upon location.

Stroll : A street, strip, or neighborhood that sees heavy street action.

Summer teeth : Her teeth, some are there, some are not.

Sunshine, sunny: Without a condom (i.e. No raincoat)

SW: 1. Street walker. 2. Sex Worker

Sybian: A mechanical sex device that is in the shape of half-barrel with a dildo attachment mounted in the middle.

Take care of business: Payment is made to provider. e.g. "She wanted to take care of business first"

TBD:The Big Doggie, National Reviews and discussion (All major cities)

Teabag, Teabagging: Man squats and dips his testicles into partners mouth.

TER:The Erotic Review, National Reviews and discussion (All major cities)

TG :Transgender: Catch-all term for TV, TS, Shemales, and CDs.

Throne Job: Self-service hand job. Refers to an establishment that doesn't offer FS. The premises will only have a large chair or "throne" for you to sit on and masturbate while the woman dances for you.

Tipping required: Hidden charges, provider demands more than the advertised price in order to perform, or bargains hard for various services.

Took one for the team, TOFTT : A hobbyist reviews a provider who has no (or scattered) reviews. He was ripped off, or his experience was very poor. Ostensibly, he has helped save other members of the community (the team) from making the same mistake.

Toss the salad : Analingus

Translation, translator :Condom i.e. "She spoke fluent french without a translator" = BBBJ

TRB :The Review Board. Seattle reviews and discussion (Some British Columbia)

Trick : 1. A sex act for money 2. A man who patronizes prostitutes

Trolling : 1. The act of driving around looking for a prostitute 2. Posting to a discussion board with the intent to anger or incite others

TS:Transsexual: a person with a psychological urge to belong to the opposite sex that may be carried to the point of undergoing surgery to modify the sex organs to mimic the opposite sex

Tuft : Description of pubic hair.

TUMA: Tongue up my ass.

Turn tricks : Prostitution

TV=Transvestite: person and especially a male who adopts the dress and often the behavior typical of the opposite sex especially for purposes of emotional or sexual gratification

Umbrella:Condom.

Uncovered: Without a condom.

VD: Venereal disease

VFM: Value For Money.

VM: Voicemail.

VGL: Very Good Looking.

WAH : 1. From Wahei: peaceful, harmonious and calm (Japanese) 2. Wild Ass Humping

Water Sports: Urination play.

Weeklies : Alternative weekly newspapers. These often contain various adult service listings, including massage and escort advertisements. e.g. The Village Voice, San Francisco Bay Guardian, The Stranger.

WF: Wild Fuck

WG : Working girl. A prostitute.

White Knight: A poster who defends or "comes to the rescue" of a provider who has been reviewed poorly, regardless of whether the review is accurate.

With : With condom (e.g. French with = CBJ)

Without : Without condom. (e.g. French without = BBBJ)

Working girl: A prostitute.

YMMV : Your Mileage May Vary = Catch all phrase to remind that tastes differ, reviews are inherently subjective, and that providers have good and bad days, thus experiences vary.

YMMV Girl: A provider who is known for being inconsistent in her attitude and service. i.e. Gets hot and cold reviews.

$: The dollar sign is sometimes used for fees.
Usually $ = $100, $
$ = $200,
$$ = $300 and so on. Often .5 signifies $50, so $$.5 would mean $250.

69:Partners perform oral sex on each other simultaeneously.

411: Information, intel. e.g. "I got the 411 on her from jessejames69"

420: Marijuana Lovers/Fan

Snow/Ski: Cocaine Lovers/Fan.

Deaf: cant hear or talk on the phone.

Hearing-Impaired: cant hear but can talk on the phone

IPO: Intial Public Offering

I am a total lexiphile (now if someone would buy Me an OED, I could check if that was an actual word!). My major at Bennington was half creative writing. Have you ever seen Say Anything? It is one of My all time favorite movies, (alongside Audition, which will momentarily lead Me to the second theme). Do you recall that Ione Skye's character had a charming habit of placing a dot beside every word she had ever looked up in her dictionairy? I actually emulated that for a few years.

The second theme will be dealt with next...I promise.